Housemates
by LollyRabbit
Summary: Let's take one sarcastic teenage girl and two mischievous auburn-haired twins. Throw them all in a house together and what do you get? Havoc. KaoruxOC
1. Chapter 1: Elevators

**A/N: **Hello! Welcome to my first Ouran High School Host Club fic. This is also the first official original character I've created! *Claps hands excitedly*  
>Don't worry, she's not a Mary Sue! I made sure of that and I hope you find her likable.<br>This fic will be mostly humour and will mostly centre around the Hitachiin twins!  
>In terms of the story-line, it occurs when *Spoiler alert for those who haven't read the manga* Hikaru is kind of in love Haruhi but before Haruhi realizes she's in love with Tamaki. Later on I'll include the other host club members and such and I decided that this fic was going to be KaoruMatsu because I don't want to change the story too much.<p>

I hope you enjoy ^-^

Warning: If you support the pairing KaoruxHikaru then you may be offended because this story contains anti-incest views.

Disclaimer: Ouran High School Host Club belongs to Bisco Hatori and always will.

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><p>"Make sure you don't break anything and be nice to the twins, I don't want any complaints from Yuzuha, got it?" Dad ordered me sternly as he poked his head out of his beat-up Nissan Terrano, narrowing his dark eyes at me suspiciously, "Are you listening, Matsu? I'm serious, one bad word and I'm dragging out of that mansion and dumping you in the care of Masaru, Kenzo and Mai. Don't think I won't come down from Sweden personally!" He threatened and I gave him a mock salute as I rolled my eyes.<br>He really didn't trust me.  
>Smart man.<p>

"Yes sir, have fun on your honey moon with the troll," I said bitterly which caused him to scowl at me. "Don't call her that. You just don't know her well enough to understand what a nice, caring per-"  
>"She broke my controller, she threw out all my sneakers, our house smells like a freaking flower shop, she stood on my foot with those ridiculously high high-heels of hers and look what she did to your hair!" I listed as I gestured to his dark curls which were now slicked back away from his face with rose-scented hair gel. Ugh.<p>

Dad glanced at the mirror self-consciously as I folded my arms across my chest in victory.  
>He sighed as he rested his elbows against the steering wheel.<br>"Okay, I'll talk to her about those things but please be good. Seriously, get along with the twins and don't make any trouble at your new school. The six months will be over before you know it and we'll all be in Inagi living like a happy family." He assured me and I nodded my head reluctantly. Last time I checked, happy families didn't consist of two nasty older brothers, a bitch of a step-sister, a troll of a step-mum and a traitor of a Dad.

"Whatever, just don't let me see you all pansy-fied when you get back." I looked away from him and I could tell he was smiling. "See you," He revved up the truck and I turned back to face him.  
>"Make sure the troll goes to sleep before you, you never know she might get hungry and-"<br>"Matsu," He warned me and I rolled my eyes once again. A bad habit I need to break out of. The eye-rolling habit makes me feel like one of those stereotypical, moody, stuck-up teenagers that always get the most screen time on reality television shows.  
>"Bye."<br>"Don't break any windows or be of any inconvenience whatsoever to Hitachiin's. Yuzuha was nice enough to take you in and I've given her permission to bury you alive in the garden if you step one toe out of line," He threatens once again and I raised an eyebrow at him as he backed out of the extremely long drive way.  
>"Love you too!" I called after him sarcastically and was rewarded with a quick toot of the horn.<p>

I watched the truck rumble down the drive-way in it's rusted-paint glory. It almost made me glad that when I would finally receive my full drivers license that I'd have to buy my own car. I suppose that's what happens when you have cheap-skate father and a mother that would rather buy a car for a kid in Africa than her own daughter. Poos.

Hello, Bonjour, Konichiwa readers...Dad said I had to be polite to everyone so I guess that includes you too.  
>To start off my name is Ikeda Matsuko, Matsu to those who are too lazy to pronounce the 'ko'. I'm sixteen years old, turning seventeen in August and I have two older brothers and one bitchy step-sister. I have black hair, and my eyes are mutated mixture of green and brown which some of you may refer to as hazel. Just like my appearance, personality-wise there's nothing really special or unique about me. I'm not particularly kind or understanding and I can be a bit moody at times. I'm probably the most sarcastic person you'll ever meet but don't worry, I'll grow on you.<br>I like Nintendo, my cat, midnight snacks and anything strawberry flavoured. I dislike my step-sister, my step-mum, heights, oh...and being dumped at some rich person's house to live there for six months because your stupid Dad got married to a stupid troll and decided to go to Sweden without you.  
>I love my family.<p>

I bet you're wondering how I got myself into this situation.  
>Okay, my mother's a let's-save-the-world type of woman so she does all this charity work for under privileged poor kids .While Dad was planning to go off on his honey-moon with the troll, that was when Mum had planned to go to Cambodia to teach poor kids to read, build houses and nurse old ladies back to health (I know it sounds ridiculous but that's what she does, okay!. I get my consideration-for-other-people gene from Dad)<p>

Mum takes her charity stuff really seriously so when Dad asked her to postpone her trip to Cambodia she gave him the finger and slammed the door right on his hand (My brothers and I inherit our fisty-ness from her, naturally). Of course, Masaru and Kenzo are seventeen and eighteen years old and Natsumi (Evil step-sister) and I are both sixteen which makes us all perfectly qualified to look after ourselves but Dad, Mum and the troll all agreed that we couldn't be trusted all together.

Actually, they all agreed that I couldn't be trusted not to start a fight with Masaru, Kenzo or Natsumi but the only reason why I left that detail out was because it's complete bullshit. They bully me, I'm the victim here! It's called self-defense dammit!  
>Anyway, Mum asked her childhood friend Yuzuha Hitachiin if I could stay with them for six months and attend Ouran Academy with her sons. Since they're loaded they agreed to this arrangement and the deal was sealed.<p>

Which brings to me to my current position.  
>I stood on the porch of the largest mansion I'd ever seen in my entire life, excluding all the one's I'd seen on 'Cribs' (I watch too much MTV). I almost felt sorry for Masaru, Kenzo and Natsumi who were stuck in a piddly four bedroom house. Then again, Masaru and Kenzo were probably dragging the trampoline into the living room at that moment and Natsumi could go stick a fork up her ass.<p>

I rang the door bell and banged my fist against the oak panelled door. The door knobs were gold.  
>Are you freaking kidding me? Their door knobs were probably worth more than our entire house.<br>The door opened and a woman in a maid's uniform answered door. And no, you perverts, it was black and had long sleeves, a semi-turtle neck and reached past her knees with a white bandanna tugging her thin brown hair away from her face.

"Good afternoon," She greeted me, "You must be Matsuko-sama, you can call me Nami-san, allow me to take your luggage." She gave me a forced smile as I handed her my bags with a raised eyebrow.  
>"Um, thanks. But you don't have to do that if you don't want to." I said, scratching the back of my head sheepishly.<p>

I wasn't used to people carrying my bags for me. The closest I'd had of a person carrying my bags for me was when I left my school bag near the top of the stairs one day and Masaru came barging into my bedroom and chucked my bag at my face. He'd given me a good screaming-lecture that leaving your bag on the top of the stairs could result in people tripping over it and crashing down the stairs. Of course this only prompted me to leave my bag at the top of the stairs more often.

"It's my pleasure, Matsuko-sama." Nami said in an flat tone. I suspected that it wasn't her pleasure but she decided that she'd do it anyway because she was getting paid for it.

I stepped inside the mansion and marvelled my surroundings. The floor was a glossy black and there was a huge stair-case in the corner spiralling upwards. There was a wide door-way that lead to the lounge which seemed to be complete with a sixty inch television and fish-tank. The fish seemed to be living the life because the tank was almost the size of the whole wall. You could fit a freaking shark in there if you wanted to. Bones would probably drown trying to swipe fish out of that tank. Oh how I missed my moronic yet lovable cat.

There were also many other hallways leading to who-knows-where which seemed to be decked with ultra-fluffy carpet. None of this coffee and cat-piss stained carpet for the Hitachiins.

Maid lady looked at me expectantly.  
>"Would you like to see your room?" She asked and I nodded.<br>"Yes, that would be great but where's Yuzuha-san?"

The woman pursed her lips tighter, which was quite an achievement considering how her lips were sealed together in a flat line whenever she wasn't talking.  
>"She's at work at the moment so it's probably best not to disturb her. You can see her at dinner." She assured me as she tucked a strand of mouse-brown hair that had strayed from her bandanna, behind her ear.<p>

"Nami-san, who is this guest?" A voice asked and I looked up to see that two identical auburn-haired boys had materialized on the stairs with bored expressions on their faces. They rested their chins on upturned palms and blinked at me expectantly as if they expected me to break out into juggling act to entertain them.

"This is Ikeda Matsuko. I'm sure your mother informed you that she was going to be staying ere for six months until her father returns to Japan." She told them as she gathered her hands on her lap and bowed respectfully. Hey! Where was my bow?  
>"Oh, our new toy has arrived!" The one on the left clapped his hands together excitedly and I frowned. Toy?<br>They both bounded down stairs with grins on their faces and leaned in close to my face as if to inspect me.

"Hmmm, it's decent I suppose," One of the poked me in the cheek and the other one hummed in agreement.  
>These were the Hitachiin twins. I'd only met them a few times in my life but whenever I did, I never liked them. I remember when I was about fourteen, I was standing by the pool on a sweltering hot day. I was looking forward to diving in but both of them tugged me back before I could I jump in.<p>

"Before you use our pool, you have to play the 'Which one is Hikaru?' game." They both had said in unison and I scowled. I never gave either of them a second glance when I came to visit their family, they were just two rude anti-social kids, so of course I couldn't tell them apart. After all, they looked exactly the same, I couldn't even remember their names. The only reason why I had come along on my Mum's visit to the Hitachiins was so I could use their pool.

"I don't play games that I know I won't win." I told them and they both frowned.  
>"Then you're not allowed in our pool." They both folded their arms across their chests decisively.<br>I don't know if it was from the heat or from my stubbornness but I lost it. I snapped.  
>"Who said it's your pool? You did nothing to earn the money to build this pool! All you two did was fall out of the right vagina!" With those parting words I leapt into the pool, climbed out, then stormed off to my mother.<br>What a darling of a fourteen year old I was.  
>Don't worry, my mouth isn't that bad anymore.<p>

"I'm not your toy," I grumbled and the one of the left tutted.  
>"Aah, seems like we have a rebellious toy on our hands, we'll have to fix that, right Hikaru?"<br>"Toys should be obedient." He agreed as he tapped me on the nose.

I resisted the urge to snap his finger in half and glanced at the maid.  
>"Nami-san, could you please direct me to my room?" I asked her and she opened her mouth to answer before a hand waved in front of her face.<p>

"There's no need for that, we'll escort her." He assured her and the woman nodded and abandoned me with the evil twins, dragging my luggage with her.  
>I noticed as she entered the elevator the doors slammed against my bags, probably crushing the snacks I had hidden in there. I bet she did that on purpose.<br>Sighing in defeat, I turned to look at the twins who seemed to be examining me again.  
>"You need to moisturise your arms. Your legs are fine but those arms look awfully dry." The one on the left noted .<p>

I grunted in annoyance and clenched my fists.  
>"Listen. I know you two don't like me and I can assure you the feeling's mutual but I would really appreciate if you didn't treat me like a pet." I said, folding my arms across my chest.<br>They both raised their eyebrows at me.  
>"What do you mean? Of course we like you, although I don't think you've earned the rank of pet yet. You're definitely still at toy stage." The twin on the right reasoned.<br>"Maybe even pet's toy stage." The other one added.

I hated them so much.

I could've throttled them both, right there and then. Each throat for each hand.  
>"You don't like me! Don't you remember? You wouldn't let me in your pool so I yelled at you?" I reminded them as the memories began to tick through their tiny, identical brains.<br>Both of their eyes lit up at the exact same second. The resonance they had with each other was freakish. Maybe they weren't even twins, maybe their Mum was into cloning or something?

"The one with the dirty mouth? You're right, we don't like you." They both frowned at me, remembering how I'd been rude to them.  
>I rolled my eyes and frowned back at them. "Great. I'm glad we've come to understand each other. Now, would you please show me to my room?" I asked in a sickly sweet voice and they shook their heads in refusal.<p>

"Let's play a game," One of them proposed, or more like ordered, running his fingers through his silky-ish spikes. "If you can guess which one's Hikaru then we'll show you to your room." The other one continued in a sing-song voice.  
>Oh God, not this again.<br>"I don't play games that I know I won't win, I thought you both learnt that two years ago." I grumbled and they both grinned.  
>"Then I guess you'll just have to find it yourself. Don't worry, it shouldn't be too hard, there are only forty or so bedrooms."<br>I scowled. Those bastards were tugging me around like a puppet on a string.  
>I wasn't the type to play the puppet, I was more of a puppeteer or a...puppetress? Was there even a name for a female puppeteer or was the title puppeteer unisex? I made a note to google it later on.<p>

"Okay, how about we play one of my games?" I asked and they both pretended not look interested.  
>I held up both of my clenched fists and smiled villainously.<br>"If you can guess which hand I write with then I'll play your game. If you guess wrong, I'll use that fist to punch you in the face." I explained, unable to stop an evil smirk from creeping upon my lips.

"She's violent." One of them noted and the other one cringed in agreement.  
>"Fine, we'll show you your room, no punching though otherwise we'll make you sleep outside. We won't even give you a kennel to sleep in." He stuck his tongue out at me and I suppressed the urge to rip it right out of his mouth and grind it into the floor.<p>

"Okay, lead the way." I said as they turned their backs on me and began walking towards the elevator. The one of the left, let's call him Kaoru because I had no idea which one was which, mashed the button and with a ding, the doors opened and the boys stepped in the elevator. I followed them inside, only to be pushed back out again by Hikaru (Again, I didn't know which one was which, so I named the one on the right, Hikaru.) .  
>"What?" I demanded, my hands placed on my hips.<p>

"Your punishment for not playing the 'Which one is Hikaru game' is that have to take the stairs. Once you play the 'Which one is Hikaru game' then you'll level up from 'Toy' to 'Pet' and that will give supervised access to the elevator." Kaoru explained, crossing his arms stubbornly.  
>Are you serious? It's like being in a video game! This was real life! In real life, you don't level up unless you work for someone and get a promotion!<br>I don't work for them...unless Mum sold me, it sounds like something that she'd do. She probably traded me for a bag of rice.  
>Shaking this possibility out of my head I looked both of them dead in the eye.<p>

"Let me on, I'm not playing your stupid game! You two look exactly the same and I hardly even know you, how am I supposed to win a game like that?" I asked as I stepped inside the elevator again, only to be gently shoved out again.  
>"Well, that's too bad then. Your room's on the third floor by the way, run up the stairs and meet us there, don't be late. If we beat you to the third floor then we'll ditch you and you'll have to find your room by yourself." Hikaru chuckled at this thought and I groaned.<br>"Okay, I'll play your stupid game." I sighed in defeat and pointed to the one on the right.

"That's one's Hikaru." I guessed and they both raised their eyebrows.  
>"What's your reasoning for that?" They both asked in unison and I shrugged.<br>"I don't need reasoning! It's called the 'Which one is Hikaru game' not the 'Which one is Hikaru, make sure you give a valid reason game'!" I exclaimed and they both rolled their eyes at me.

"Well you got it wrong anyway, good luck making it to third floor before us." Kaoru (or Hikaru, I had no idea) grinned at me as the elevator doors clicked together.  
>Growling under my breath I raced to the stair case. I hated games, especially when other people got to make up the rules but I needed to get to my room. I guessed that the only maid that knew which room I was in was Nami-san and she was long gone, she'd probably already placed my bags in my room. I wasn't too keen on busting through every door of the house in search for my bags and I wasn't sure when Yuzuha would arrive back at the mansion.<p>

My best option was to make it to the third floor before the twins did. I sprinted up the stairs at full speed, using the railing to throw myself upwards and give me more momentum. I ran track at school, mostly long distance so I liked to think I was in reasonably good shape. In fact, when I reached the second the floor, I got there just when the twins elevator was passing the second floor.

I ambled towards the elevator and mashed the button. The elevator came back down to the second floor again and the doors opened to the confused faces of Hikaru and Kaoru.  
>With a cackle, I darted to and up the staircase as the twins tried to close the door of the elevator again quickly. It seemed that in the fluster of trying to get the door to close quicker, the twins had accidentally pressed the 'Ground floor' button so the elevator went sailing downwards. This elevator seemed to prioritise going down rather than going up.<p>

I pumped a fist in the air triumphantly as I leapt up onto the last step of the third floor, stumbling down the hallway before collapsing in front of the elevator. Shallow breaths escaped from my mouth. Even though I was pretty fit, running three stories up a stair case was a exhausting. I wasn't too exhausted to laugh though.  
>I rolled on the soft carpet, laughing triumphantly and with a pleasant 'ding' the elevator doors opened to two frowning Hitachiin twins.<p>

"You cheated." One of them accused me, jabbing a finger in the direction of my face.  
>"I'm sorry, okay?" I panted, "Just please, show me to my room. If you're putting me through this because of what happened two years ago, I'm sorry for that too. Just let me get away from you." I begged. They both laughed.<p>

Not evil laughs either, genuine laughter.  
>I looked up at them both. Their brown eyes were shining with amusement as they peered down at me with smirks plastered on their faces.<br>"You really are fun," Kaoru, or whoever he was chuckled as he offered me his hand.  
>I scowled at his hand but accepted it anyway as he helped me to my feet.<br>"We're going to have more fun with you later, so be prepared,"  
>They both smiled at me and swivelled around on their heels, stepping back into the elevator.<p>

"Wait! You didn't tell me which room was mine!" I called and Kaoru smirked.  
>"We have no idea which room is yours, all we know is that it's on the same floor as our bedroom. Good luck finding it though." He saluted at me and I clenched my fists together as the elevator descended downwards.<p>

Six months. That's approximately one hundred and eighty days, I have to live with these evil twins. Seriously, fuck my life.

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><p>I woke up the next morning in a reasonably good mood. Mainly because my wake didn't consist of Kenzo wiping his foot on my face or Natsumi's shrieking because Masaru 'accidentally' walked in on her while she was having a shower (Which is disgusting because they're legally brother and sister. Well, step-brother and sister but it's still gross! ) .My wake-up call was from Nami with a gentle tap on the shoulder.<p>

"Matsuko-sama, it's time for you to get up," She said plainly and I sat up and stretched my arms.  
>"Thanks for the wake-up call. And also I'd like to thank you for putting a sign outside my door to help me find my room, I would've been completely lost without it." I thanked her and she nodded before quickly exiting the room.<p>

I hadn't seen the twins since the elevator incident because it turns out the twins occupy the third floor and even have their dinner on the third-floor kitchen. I had dinner with Mr and Mrs Hitachiin so that meant I didn't see them at dinner either. Lucky me! (That wasn't sarcastic)

However, my luck ran out when I strolled down to the third-floor bathroom in my boxers and singlet (A bad sleeping habit I got off my brothers) and bumped into two teenage boys who were already up and dressed in their fancy Ouran Academy uniforms.

"You really dress like a commoner." Hikaru observed, stroking his chin thoughtfully.  
>And yes, I was sure (well as sure as I could get) that it was Hikaru because Yuzuha had told me last night that Hikaru liked to part his hair to the left and Kaoru liked to part his hair to right. This made things a lot easier.<br>"Commoner?" I asked and they both nodded.  
>"We did some research on you last night and we found out that your Mum's living off her inheritance money and working for charities and that your Father's an electrician. You also used to go to public school." Kaoru said proudly and I raised an eyebrow at the two morons.<p>

"And you didn't already know that? Do you guys even know why I'm here?" I questioned, staring at them both expectantly.  
>"Our mum hired you for six months to be our toy." They both answered and I glared.<br>"I'm not your freaking toy! I'm staying here because my Dad's on a honey-moon with a troll and my mum would rather feed poor Asian kids rice than stay home and look after me!" I roared as I stormed around them in the direction of the bathroom. Let's just say I'm not a morning person.

As I was about to slam the door shut a hand latched onto my arm and I twisted my head to see Hikaru and Kaoru with apologetic expressions on their faces.  
>"Did we hurt your feelings, Matsu-chan?" Kaoru asked, pouting slightly.<br>What the hell?  
>"Not 'We', you're the one who hurt her feelings Hikaru," Hikaru said, folding his arms across his chest as Kaoru's pout cracked into a whimpering, pathetic expression.<p>

"How could you say that Hikaru?" He cried as tears began to well in his shiny brown eyes.  
>Suddenly Hikaru's hand released my arm and clasped Kaoru's chin, pulling him closer to his face. "I didn't mean it like that Kaoru," He soothed him, using his other hand to stroke his twin's cheek, "Please don't cry. I don't think I'd be able to bear it if another one of your tears spilled,"<br>"Oh, Hikaru!" Kaoru sighed in a rather girl-ish voice.  
>"Shhh, Kaoru, don't cry anymore or I'll have to kiss those tears away," He said in a low voice as he tugged his mouth slightly closer to his and-I screamed and slammed the door shut so fast the door frame rattled violently.<br>What. The. Fuck. ?  
>What the hell was that?<p>

They can't be incest! Incest is wrong! It's gross! Sure, gay is okay but incest is not!  
>I had trouble accepting my brother perves on my step-sister...but those two were actually...<br>I shuddered as I pressed my back against the door.  
>There was light knock from the other side of the door.<br>"Matsu-chan?" A voice asked uncertainly and I winced.

"Go away." I groaned as I grinded my knuckles against my eyes in an attempt to un-see what I had just saw.  
>Oh God. Please go away. They had creeped me out enough already and then they had to do that in front of me? Couldn't they at least have the decency to do that in the privacy of their bedroom?<p>

"We didn't think that we'd scare you like that. I mean, we were only trying to cheer you up," A soft voice said from the other side of the door.  
>I creaked open the door slightly and poked my head out to raise an eyebrow at the two.<br>"You were?" I questioned and they both nodded their heads sincerely.  
>I sighed, pressing my palm against my forehead before glancing back at the twins.<br>"You thought that acting like..._that, _would cheer me up?" I asked and Hikaru shrugged. "It works at school, girls like that kind of stuff."

What kind of fucked up school did they go to? Last time I checked, incest was ILLEGAL.  
>It's supposed to be frowned upon by society!<br>I suppose they were trying to cheer me slightly though. I mean, it's the thought that counts, I'm not a completely heartless bitch like some Dad-stealers I know, cough, troll, cough.

"Thanks for trying.." I said blandly. It felt weird being polite to them. They both broke into blinding smiles and Hikaru patted me on the shoulder.  
>"That was nice!" He chirped enthusiastically.<br>Kaoru clapped his hands together excitedly. "Congratulations, you've now levelled up from 'Toy' to 'Pet' that means we'll show you to your class when we get to school!"  
>I raised an eyebrow in suspicion that two hyperactive boys wondering if I should scold them for calling me a Toy again but decided to ignore it. After all, Dad told me to get on the twin's good side.<p>

"Yay!" I cheered, biting my tongue in an attempt to stop the sarcasm from leaking into my words. "Of course, since you're our pet you'll have to wear this when we get to school." Kaoru said as he yanked a brown leather cord from his front pocket and held it out to me in the palm of his hand.  
>I stared at said object in his hand.<br>It was a leash.  
>A dog leash.<p>

"We wouldn't want you running wild around the school, you're still only a puppy and who knows what-" Kaoru began before I ripped the leash out of his grip and looped it round his neck. "I'll kill you!" I shouted, tugging at the leather as Hikaru tried to restrain me as I thrashed in his grasp. "Matsu-chan, calm down, he was only joking!" He told me as he pulled me away from Kaoru and the leash, his arms wrapped securely around my waist.  
>I inhaled deeply and counted down from ten, trying to rid the burning desire to throttle the auburn-haired boy.<p>

"Kaoru, don't do that again. I don't think I'll be able to hold her back next time," Hikaru warned his twin and Kaoru smiled sweetly as he tucked the leash back in his pocket.  
>"Don't worry. You won't need to hold her back next time, I'll make her wear a muzzle." He laughed and wrenched myself from Hikaru's grip.<br>"I'll tear your head off!" I roared as Hikaru managed to latch on my wrists and tug me backwards before I managed to get a hold of his skinny neck.

"Kaoru!" Hikaru cried as the twin laughed his ass off.

I want to go home.

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><p><strong>AN: **Do you like Matsu? This is basically an introduction to her character and her relationship with the twins. In the next chapter she'll get into more mischief with the twins and she'll meet the host club. Matsu has a bit of a dirty-mouth which is why it's rated T.

Reviews would be lovely, I'd like to know if you like Matsu or not and if the twins are in character \(^-^)/  
>I'd like to know if any other improvements could be made or if you enjoyed it, and what parts you enjoyed!<br>Thanks for reading :)


	2. Chapter 2: Fellow commoner

**A/N: **Hello dear readers, welcome to chapter two of House mates! I was really happy with the reviews I got and I'm glad you all seem to like Matsuko! I didn't expect to get nine reviews since Ouran fan fiction usually only gets a few reviews so thankyou :D  
>I'm so sorry that this chapter is so short D: but it's kind of like just introducing Matsu to the Ouran host club :)<p>

I hope you enjoy this ^-^

**Disclaimer- **I don't own Ouran High School host club or any of it's characters. I do own Matsu-chan and have the power to make her do whatever I please but you readers can help me with that by reviewing and giving me ideas :D 

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><p>"Where are we going? Home room's on the first floor," I asked as I trailed behind Kaoru and Hikaru, dragging my feet up the steps.<p>

Why didn't Ouran have elevators? Or ski lifts? If they were rich enough to buy a solid gold statue at the front of the school then surely they'd be able to afford them.  
>"We're not going to home room, we're going to our club room for the morning. We don't have to be at home room for another hour," Kaoru answered and I groaned.<p>

So far, I wasn't liking Ouran too much. As soon as we arrived a stuck-up office lady with a big nose and little eyes said only people on scholar-ships that couldn't afford the uniform were allowed to wear mufti. She had quickly shouldered me into the changing rooms and tossed over the curtain quite possibly the ugliest dress known to man. It was pale yellow with puffy shoulders and skin-tight sleeves. The collar clung onto my throat and the balloon skirt didn't even show my ankles. Hideous and impractical, I was tempted to ask if I could wear the boy's uniform instead.

"Do I have to come with you? Can't you just drop me off at home room?" I questioned and they both turned and grinned at me.  
>"We're already late, if you didn't break the zipper off your dress then we'd have time to drop you off," Kaoru explained and I growled under my breath.<br>"Come on, pet. Walk faster, we don't wanna be late," Hikaru ordered me and I sat down the stairs, folding my arms across my chest stubbornly.  
>"I don't take orders like a dog." I declared as Hikaru pointed to Kaoru's front pocket.<br>"If you don't start walking then I'll bring out Kaoru's leash and we'll be forced to drag you up the stairs, don't think we won't do it." He threatened me and I narrowed my eyes at him.

"I thought you were the one trying to stop Kaoru from making the leash jokes." I said as I stood up and began following them again. Not because I scared of dragged up the stairs, I was confident they wouldn't be able to get a leash around my neck but because I was slightly curious what kind of club belonged to. The badminton club, maybe? It would probably be a club where they'd be partnered with each other, those two never left each other's sides, even when they went to the bathroom.

"No, I was never against the leash jokes, but I'd hate to see Kaoru get hurt," He turned his attention to Kaoru and cupped his chin with his hand, combing his free hand into the other twin's hair, "No matter what, I'll always protect you," He drawled as Kaoru's bottom lip quivered. "Hikaru, don't put your body on the line for me,"  
>Hikaru pressed his index finger to Kaoru lips, "I gave up my body to you a long time ago. Don't you remember when I-"<br>"Stop it, I'm walking okay?" I interrupted as I quickened my pace up the stairs.

After about five more minutes of me clamping my hands over my ears, singing Mary had a little freaking lamb at the top of my lungs to block out their twincest antics, we eventually we halted outside a pink double-door that had a sign saying 'Music room three' above the hinge.

Music? I didn't peg either of the twins to be interested in music, it seemed to require far too much discipline for those two brats.  
>I sent a questioning glance to Hikaru and Kaoru but both of them simply smiled in return as we stood outside, simply marvelling the door.<br>"So, are we gonna go in?" I asked and Hikaru held his index finger up.  
>"We don't need to open the door, Milord can sense if a girl is outside our door," He told me and I furrowed my eyebrows together.<p>

What was he talking about?  
>The door suddenly swung open and a blonde teenager wearing a medieval knight's costume interlaced his fingers with mine and tugged me towards his face, a small smile gracing his lips.<br>"Good morning, madam. Are you a new student here? Don't worry, I'll make it my duty to make sure the new princess comfortable. Welcome to the host club palace," He said, stroking my cheek with his free hand. "What?" I asked before he spun through the door.

The inside looked like a fairy-tale book had puked up all over the walls. There were several guys walking around in similar knight's costumes...one of them was riding a horse. In the corner there was a replica of a castle complete with a red flag and a moat with an enormous dragon plushie outside guarding it. Girls were gathered at tables with princess crowns balanced on their heads, waving at the knights and calling them over to ask questions.

"What is this?" I asked as I tried peer out the door for Hikaru and Kaoru. They seemed to have disappeared. Great, they had dumped me there like a child at day-care. The blonde boy bowed and held out a gold crown, crusted with fake rubies (How classy) and I reluctantly took it and placed it on my head.  
>"Um, thanks I guess," I said and he beamed at me.<br>"Anything for you, princess. I'll be your knight in shining armour, protecting and serving you for you are more precious than my own life,"

"In that case, could you tell me what the hell's going on?" I asked and he pouted at me slightly. "What do you mean princess, I am your knight willing to-"  
>I walked away from him and tapped a dark-haired guy on the shoulder. He turned around and I saw that he glasses perched on his nose, even better, guys with glasses were always sane and smart. Well, most of the time.<p>

"Where am I?" I asked him and he gave me a charming smile.  
>"Why, princess, you are at the host club's palace. Are you lost, how can I assist you?" He pushed his glasses up further on his nose and I raised an eyebrow at him.<br>"Okay, I have no idea where that is but if by any chance you see two twins slightly taller than me and most likely laughing their asses off then do me a favour and tell them when I find them I'm going to yank out their innards, grind them against the bottom of my shoe then make them eat it."

He blinked at me for a few moments before letting a small smirk creep upon his lips.  
>"Aah, you must be Ikeda Matsuko, the new student staying with the twins. It said on your profile that you were violent but I never assumed you were this bad…" He said and I frowned at him. "Do I know you?" I asked, trying to think if I had ever encountered this ridiculously good-looking bespectacled boy.<br>He ran his fingers through his dark hair and smiled warmly.

"No, you don't but allow me to introduce myself and the rest of the host club. My name is Kyoya Ootori, the 'cool' type and vice president of the club. The blonde you just talked to was Tamaki Suoh, he's the 'princely' type and the president of the club," Kyoya explained and I tipped my head to side in confusion.  
>"What does this club do, exactly?" I questioned him as he folded his arms across his chest proudly.<br>"We're the host club, we do anything and everything to make girls happy." He answered as I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Isn't that called prostitution?"  
>His glasses caught the light so I couldn't see his eyes, but by the way that his mouth formed a tiny fruit-loop-sized 'o', they were probably widened in shock.<p>

He tilted his glasses down so I could see him blink at me and shake his head.  
>"We don't do <em>that<em> kind of stuff, do we look like those kinds of people?" He asked as I shrugged my shoulders.  
>"Could've fooled me,"<p>

He sighed in exasperation. "Well, fortunately for you we don't charge money for our services. Maybe you'll enjoy yourself here."

I scowled at him. "What do you mean by 'fortunately for you we don't charge money?', is that another dig about me being a commoner?"

He ignored me and looked at me expectantly.  
>"What's your type?" He asked and I furrowed my eyebrows together in confusion.<br>"What do you mean by 'type'?"  
>"Your preferences in a guy," Kyoya said, "Looking at the way you reacted to Tamaki, you're obviously don't prefer the princely type. You don't seem very interested in me either, the twins are crossed off the list with the violent comment you made earlier, so…" He pointed to a tall, dark-haired tan guy giving a short, blonde boy a shoulder-ride, "Do you like the wild type, the cute type," He gestured to a brown haired boy with matching brown eyes who seemed to be chatting to the short blonde boy, "Or perhaps you like the natural type,"<p>

I scrunched my nose up slightly. "I don't have a 'type',"  
>"If you don't choose, I'll have to kick you out and the twins are hosts as well so if you leave then you won't be able to find your class. It's early in the morning so the only guests here are being entertained by Tamaki, you're free to take your pick. " He informed me smugly as I groaned. "Fine, I'll go talk to the 'natural type'."<p>

Kyoya smiled victoriously. "Haruhi, you have a request," He called as the brunette smiled invitingly and waved me over to the table where the short blonde, the tan guy were now seated at. All three of them were dressed in medieval warrior's armour but seemed more interested in the food rather than the medieval theme.

"Do I have to go?" I pleaded as he raised his eyebrows at me.  
>"You could stay if you preferred me as your host, <em>princess<em>," He teased, leaning closer to my face. "No thanks, four-eyes." I said as he narrowed his grey eyes at me.

I trudged over to the table where the three boys where sitting, scoffing down cake. Well, the blonde was scoffing down cake, the tan guy was wiping crumbs off the blonde's jacket and the brunette was nibbling on a cracker.

"What's your name?" He asked in a friendly manner, blinking his enormous amber orbs at me.  
>"Ikeda Matsuko," I answered as the small blonde boy grinned, tilting his head to the side. "You're new here, right?" He asked as I nodded my head.<br>"Yup, I just transferred from Inagi high school," I answered as the brunette widened his eyes at me. "That's a public school…."  
>I raised an eyebrow at him. "Mmm hmm, I'm not rich or smart though…I mean, I get good grades and my family is probably about middle-class or high-middle-class but not the extreme like the other people at this school," I replied as I glanced at the strawberry cake at the centre of the table.<br>"Am I allowed some of that, or do I have to pay for it?" I asked.

"Mitsukuni was planning on eating it but I don't think he'd mind if you had a piece," The tall, tan guy said as the blonde's grin widened.  
>"Help yourself, Matsu-chan! Is that your favourite type of cake?" He chirped as I nodded enthusiastically. "Yup, strawberry is my favourite. I like anything strawberry flavoured," I answered as he clasped his stuffed rabbit to his chest in delight.<br>"Strawberry is one of my favourite cake flavours but I also like chocolate, black-forest, banana, raspberry and blueberry. Ne, Haru-chan, what's your favourite type of cake?"

"Umm, I'm not sure, my favourite type of cake is the type of cake with the least sugar in it…..I don't like sweets that much," He answered as the blonde smiled.  
>"That's alright Haru-chan, if you don't like sweets then that means more for me!" He popped a strawberry in his mouth, dripping juice onto his stuffed rabbit's head.<p>

"I'm Mitsukuni by the way but lots of people call me Honey cause I like sweets," He introduced himself before pointing to the tall, tan guy.

"That's Takashi but everyone calls him Mori cause…..Takashi, why do people call you Mori?" He asked as Mori gave the short blonde a blank look.  
>"It's because his sur name is Morinozuka and Mori is Morinozuka for short. It's the same for you, Honey. Honey is short for Haininozuka," Haruhi explained kindly as Honey's face lit up.<br>"You're so smart, Haru-chan!" He exclaimed before turning to me.  
>"Haru-chan is a commoner too, she got here cause she got top in the entrance test!"<p>

If anyone else had stamped commoner on my forehead like he did, I would've sent them a death glare, but this kid was just too adorable.  
>"I guess that means we're in the same boat," He said with a comforting smile…His smile was awfully girly.<br>Instead of commenting on the strange smile I decided to smile back.  
>"Us commoners have to stick together."<p>

"Right." He nodded.

"Haruhi!" Hikaru yelled with excitement as both twins came bounding out from behind a purple curtain, knocking me off my seat in order to sit next to the brunette.  
>I climbed to my feet and scowled at both of them who were sharing the seat that I was just sitting in. "Aren't you two morons supposed to be hosting or something?" I asked, my left eye twitching in irritation.<p>

"We haven't seen Haruhi in _three_ days!" Kaoru said as he beamed at the brunette who didn't seem to be enjoying all the attention he was receiving.

"I don't care, get out of my chair!" I demanded as I shook the backrest of the chair in a failed attempt to get my chair back.  
>Hikaru chuckled. "Hehe, that rhymed, you're so clever pet,"<p>

I scowled at them both before delivering a solid kick to the side of the chair, which sent the twins and the chair toppling to the floor.

I burst into laughter as Hikaru and Kaoru's limbs tangled with the legs of the chair.  
>"You'll pay for that, Matsu-chan!" Hikaru yelled as stuck my tongue out at him.<br>"Give me my host back; I was just starting to get to know him!" I exclaimed as Kaoru and Hikaru exchanged frowns.  
>"Matsu-chan….do you like Haruhi?" Kaoru asked as I sent them a vicious glare.<br>"No, I don't like Haruhi in that way…He reminds me too much of a girl. However, he is a commoner just like me so that means he is the only one who understands how insane you all are." I concluded as Hikaru tipped his head to the side in confusion.

"But Matsu…you're just as insane as we are. You almost broke the chair…"

I puckered my lips. He was probably right.  
>"I'm violent and destructive but completely sane." I corrected, even though I was a tad bit insane.<p>

"Anyway, when is your hosty-thingy going to end? I just wanna go to class," I asked as they both grinned. "Hold on a little while pet. If you want to go to class that badly then go ask Kyoya to give you a map," Kaoru said as I narrowed my eyes at him.  
>"Stop calling me pet!"<br>"I think it's funny," Hikaru snickered.  
>"You won't think it's so funny when I bite your heads off!"<br>"I told you we should've bought a muzzle," Kaoru smirked as Hikaru nodded.  
>"We should ring he pet store to get her mouth sized,"<p>

I think they actually already have a dog. And I'm sure it gets treated better than I do. 

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><p>Again, I'm so sorry for the shortness D:<br>The next chapter should be longer and I think I'm going to make them play dodge-ball or something. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter!  
>Please review and tell me what you think. Writing's about enjoying it yourself but it helps when people give you feedback to guide you and help you improve :) Thanks for reading<p> 


	3. Chapter 3: Let's play

**A/N: **Hello lovely readers, I am back! It's been a while since I've updated this story because I've been pretty busy and I hit a rock halfway through this chapter. I managed to pull through though, thanks to **Furaba Foreva** and her amazing idea-giving and editing skills! Seriously, thanks so much for that :D  
>EVERYBODY'S reviews were much appreciated and I have a clear-ish idea of where I'm going with it now.<p>

Enjoy this third chapter.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Ouran High School Host Club, or it's characters. Matsu is the only character that belongs to me.

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><p>"This is ridiculous..." I panted, resting my palms on my knees as sweat dripped off my chin and onto the glossy lino gym floor.<p>

"We're getting slaughtered," Kaoru agreed, leaping sideways to dodge a bright red rubber ball that came zooming over in our direction.

"What are you guys talking about? This is awesome!" Hikaru exclaimed. He tossed the ball back over the line, hitting a scrawny dude who was arguing with the referee in the backside.

"There are only three of us left in our team…how is that awesome?" I sighed. Kaoru shook his head at me.

"Nope, there are four of us. Kazukiyo-san's still in the game," the twin said, gesturing to a skinny brunette boy with rectangular glasses. Our teammate had taken to hiding behind the basketball net in an attempt to avoid the meteor shower of red dodge-balls.

"Somehow I don't think he particularly likes this game. I feel for the poor guy; this is horrible." I glanced at the brunette sympathetically. Kaoru quirked an eyebrow at me.

"Weren't you the one who suggested it?"

"I didn't think the other class would take the stupid game so seriously!" I exclaimed with a frown at our gym teacher, Hayashi-sensei.

It was my first P.E lesson at Ouran Academy and it wasn't going so well. Hayashi-sensei had asked if anyone knew of a good game to verse P.E Class A in and I oh-so-intelligently suggested that we play dodge-ball. This was an enormous mistake for two reasons. Reason one: Hayashi-sensei had never played dodge-ball before; he had only seen it in American movies so he kept on making up rules. In addition, he was making us stay during lunchtime to finish the game. Reason two: My P.E class was USELESS at dodge-ball. Most of the girls refused to play or were eliminated straight away and the guys on our team could hardly throw a ball. Even on the rare occasion that they would hit someone, they'd apologize for it and end up being hit while promising to buy them a massage therapy session. Ugh.

"If you don't like it, why don't you just let one of the balls hit you?" Kaoru asked. "You don't have to do anything if you're out." I folded my arms across my chest stubbornly.

"That guy wearing the black wristbands made a snarky comment about our P.E class being the lowest ranking class…It's probably true but I'm not going to let him get away with that without a bleeding lip or a good groin-shot," I explained, causing Hikaru to wince.

"That's Kyo-san, he's the captain of the track team so he's really serious about sports. All of the people in P.E Class A are serious about sports which is why they're annihilating us. Our P.E class doesn't have a chance," Kaoru told me as he intercepted a ball that was sailing towards the brunette dude with the glasses.

"If this is such a crappy P.E class, why are you two a part of it? You guys are actually pretty good at this," I questioned. Kaoru and Hikaru struck identical arrogant poses, sharing a knowing smirk at me.

"Yes, it's true, we're not only clever, funny, and ridiculously good-looking," Hikaru said smugly, resting his chin on his knuckles.

"We're also strong, agile, and athletic," Kaoru finished, his eyes glistening. "But being in the top P.E class is boring. The teachers are bossy and we're not allowed to muck around, which is why during the phys. ed. trials we flunked it," the younger auburn-haired twin explained.

I rolled my eyes at him. "Typical."

"Hey, delinquent-girl, quit chatting with your boyfriends and show me what you've got," called 'wristbands guy', also known as 'Kyo' from the other side of the line. I turned around and narrowed my eyes at him, but before I could yell back, Hikaru and Kaoru were already glaring at him in protest.

"We're not dating our dog!" they shouted in unison, waving their arms in the air furiously. I swatted them both on the shoulders.

"You idiots, I'm not your dog and I wouldn't date either of you! I'm far out of your league!" I exclaimed.

They both laughed.

"That's a good one, Matsu-chan," Kaoru chuckled as Hikaru snickered behind his hand. A ball whirled towards the older twin and I quickly shoved him to the side.

"Don't get distracted!" I scolded. Hikaru pouted.

"I could've dodged that myself," he grumbled. I sighed.

"What are we going to do? Even if we catch the ball and get another team member in it'd be pointless; they're all useless at dodge-ball." The twins shrugged as I leaned back, almost doing a bridge to avoid a speed-ball that had (judging by the disappointed expression on the boy's face) come from Kyo's hands and flew right past my nose.

"Nice dodge, Matsu-chan!" a sweet voice cheered from the sidelines. I twisted my head to the side and sure enough, there was Honey-senpai riding Mori-senpai's shoulders. Not only were those two there but the other members of the host club were also gathered in the bleachers. They all seemed to be extremely fascinated by the game (especially Tamaki), except for Haruhi who had probably already played it before and Kyoya who was absorbed in some book.

"What is this game?" Tamaki asked excitedly. I raised an eyebrow at him. I knew that these rich kids didn't play sports like dodge-ball at Ouran Academy but I didn't think he'd never heard of it…

"It's dodge-ball, you wanna play?" I asked as another ball slammed into my stomach. I quickly grasped it to my chest before it fell to the floor. "I caught a ball. You can come in if you want," I invited. The blonde's violet eyes lit up before Kyo, the-king-of-butt-holes butted in.

"He's in not in your class, he's not allowed!" he shouted at me. I glared back at him.

"Shut up, can't you see he really wants to play? Don't be an ass!" I turned to Hayashi-sensei and looked at him expectantly. "It's an unfair match anyway since they're the top P.E class and we're the lowest. Can't Tamaki join in?" I asked. The man grinned, giving me the 'thumbs up'.

"Good idea, Ikeda. This'll make the game a whole lot more exciting! They can all join in if they want, that way it'll last longer and you can make a comeback just like they always do in the movies!" He jabbered enthusiastically and I smiled in determination.

"Yeah, we've got a chance of winning this now!" Hikaru cheered as Honey, Mori and Tamaki joined us on the court. I glanced at the brunette host still sitting on the sidelines by the bespectacled boy. "Aren't Haruhi or Kyoya going to play?" I asked as Tamaki bounced a dodge ball from hand to hand experimentally.

"Haru-chan doesn't like sports and Kyo-chan's reading his book," Honey answered while hopping down from Mori's shoulders and stretching his arms.

"What are the rules to this commoner's game?" Tamaki asked. Hikaru and Kaoru smiled devilishly at him.

"You have to try and hit someone on the other team with the ball below the neck. If you hit them, they're out," Kaoru explained, running his fingers through his hair.

"And you have to throw it hard enough so that they're injured and they can't come back in if someone on their team catches the ball," Hikaru added. Tamaki cringed.

"This game sounds violent…I'm glad Haruhi isn't playing. Her delicate heart wouldn't be able to withstand such a vulgar game..." Tamaki mumbled in relief. My eyebrows furrowed together in confusion.

"Her?" I asked. All five boys widened their eyes at my query.

"He meant 'his', not 'her'," Kaoru corrected quickly and they all nodded in agreement.

"Sometimes we mistake Haruhi for a girl because of his feminine personality and looks," Mori stated in his bland voice. I frowned suspiciously but decided to leave the subject. Hayashi-sensei blew the whistle and clapped his hands together with enthusiasm.

"Okay everyone, make this a good game!" he cheered, bouncing up and down on the spot. His over-priced gym shoes squeaked against the polished floor.

Kyo launched a ball at Tamaki, but the airheaded blonde boy managed to catch it and clasp it to his chest. He set the ball on the ground, beaming at Haruhi who was watching the game with mild interest and a hint of concern. Okay, a lot of concern. Which I didn't blame him for.

"Haruhi! Watch Daddy make the best kick in dodge ball history!" Tamaki shouted. I frowned in confusion. Kick? But you're not supposed to kick the ball in dodge-ball. If you do that then you're automatically elimina-shit!

"You moron! Don't kick the ball!" I yelled but it was too late. Tamaki's foot had already made contact with the rubber ball and sent it flying into a red-haired girl, who squealed before it smacked her right in the face. There was a blast of a whistle.

"You're out," Hayashi-sensei said, jabbing a finger at an extremely confused Tamaki.

"What? How can I be out?" he asked, scratching his head.

"Your foot came in contact with the ball; only your hands can touch the ball," Kaoru explained dryly as Tamaki pouted.

"But, I only just started playing…" he whimpered.

"Hey, I've got an idea - why don't you get off the court so we can finish wiping the floor with you guys and go to lunch?" Kyo shouted to Tamaki from the other side of the court. I glared at him.

"I've got a better idea, why don't you shut the hell up?" I snapped back. He narrowed his dark eyes at me.

"Why don't you come make me, you useless commoner? You don't even deserve the title 'dog'. Why did they even let you into the school anyway? You're not wealthy or intelligent. Disgusting." He sneered. I froze, my eyes fixed on the dark-haired boy who looked at me as if I were dog shit. Hikaru winced.

"Yeah, you really shouldn't have said that..." Kaoru said, giving the wristbands-boy a look of pity.

"Why not? It's the-HOLY CRAP!" Kyo yelped as a rubber ball collided with his jaw, knocking him a few feet backwards.

"You bastard! I'll kill you! I'll kill you then I'll shit on your grave!" I roared. I charged towards the boy on the other side of the court. However, before I crossed into their territory with full intent on strangling Kyo, I was pulled backwards by the twins.

"Calm down Matsu, he isn't worth it," Kaoru told me as I kicked and wriggled in their grips. Hikaru was trying to smother his laughter. I was dumped on the court floor, breathing heavily, my face red with anger. Hikaru grabbed a nearby water bottle and squirted me in the face with it.

"Have you cooled down now?" he asked and I glared back at him, wiping my face of the sticky orange liquid.

"You idiot, that wasn't water, it was juice!" I scolded him. He just shrugged in reply. I stood up and grabbed the dodge-ball that Hikaru was holding.

"Let's play!" I barked, storming towards the centre of the court and hurling a ball at a red-haired boy who had snickered in agreement when Kyo called me a useless commoner. He'd foolishly turned around to chat with a girl so the ball hit him square in the back.

"Youuuu'rrrre out!" Hayashi-sensei declared, pointing to the benches.

"Yay! Go Matsu-chan! Let's go Takashi!" Honey cheered in delight as he effortlessly caught a ball flying towards him with perfect timing and climbed upon Mori's shoulders. Laughing childishly, he tossed the ball back at its sender, hitting him in the chest with a force that didn't look possible from such a sweet, small boy.

Tamaki flounced back onto the court, being allowed on again after Honey's catch. The blonde wasn't very skilled at throwing but his dodging skills proved impressive. Mori and Honey made up for Tamaki's throws, and the whole team. Their athletic capabilities were amazing. Me, still in an angry state launched balls at the other team wildly and blindly. I needed to get rid of the steam that threatened to come out of my ears.

"Matsu...are you okay?" Haruhi asked from the sidelines. He sounded concerned and slightly frightened at the same time. Actually, most people around me looked frightened and concerned.

I opened my mouth to answer him but at that moment a ball came flying at my legs. I jumped to avoid it and immediately turned to see who'd thrown it.

It was Kyo. Gasp. What an enormous, climatic surprise. He was the only one left on the opposite team, but he still had his nose turned up like he still thought he was going to win. I sniffed. We'll see about that.

Clutching the ball he'd thrown at my shins, I narrowed my eyes at the dark-haired boy moving sideways carefully across the court. He thought that if he kept moving, I wouldn't be able to hit him. I took my time, waiting for him to let down his guard slightly as he held two balls to his chest. There was only one ball on our side on the court, and that was the one I was holding. It seemed that the others had already thrown them all at the opposing team.

"Hurry up and throw it, pet!" Hikaru shouted.

"You're taking ages!" Kaoru yelled in canon.

"Will you two shut up?! Can't you see I'm trying to concentra-" I began before I realized there was a ball hurtling towards my chest. Panicking, I instinctively knocked the ball away with my fist only to have it sail back over the line and into the other team's territory. And conveniently hit Kyo in the arm.

Everyone in the gym, including Kyo, stared at the ball that had lightly tapped him on the arm. I blinked, before raising my hands in the air.

"We win!" I exclaimed, all anger fading away from my stomach and being replaced by glory. Sweet, sweet, glory.

Grinning, I ran over to Hikaru and Kaoru and hug-tackled them. Tamaki and Honey joined in the glomp-fest, squealing something about cake. Mori didn't look like he wanted to participate in the hug, but Honey forced him to anyway. After we finished jumping up and down, shouting like idiots, I strode over to Kyo and smiled at him.

"Good game," I said, unable to stop myself from sounding smug. He stuck his tongue out at me and walked off to join the rest of his team. What poor sportsmanship.

Haruhi was smiling at our amazing accomplishment. All Kyoya said was, "Well done, Commoner." But I guess that was good, coming from him. Hayashi-sensei was ecstatic and had broken out in the Gangnam-Style dance. I'm ashamed to say that as I was so happy to have won, I joined in with him and received lots of weird looks. Hikaru and Kaoru approached me, and for once I didn't glare, frown or smirk at them. I beamed at them. Yes, that's how much I LOVE winning.

"Good job, Matsu-chan!" Kaoru said and Hikaru smirked.

"Yeah, you did so well, that we think you deserve this," Hikaru agreed, pulling something out of his pocket and presenting it to me. It looked like a biscuit of some sort...Wait a second...

"For the last freaking time, I'm not a dog!" I shouted, my happy mood evaporating as I snatched the dog biscuit out of the auburn-haired boy's hands, dropped it to the floor and ground it into the court with my shoe. Hikaru and Kaoru snickered and I narrowed my eyes at them.

"You'll pay," I hissed. They both ran for their lives.

I am not a dog.

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><p><strong>AN: **Haha, this took me ages to write but I finally got around to finishing it. I'm already three quarters a way through the fourth chapter because I wasn't actually planning on adding this chapter, I'd already started on another one, which I've decided to make the fourth chapter. Feedback and reviews are really appreciated. Tell me if you liked Kyo in the story...I'm not sure if I'm going to wipe him out of the story or include him in later chapters.  
>If you want to suggest ideas, I'm all ears :D<br>Thank you for reading :3

-LR


	4. Chapter 4: Strawberry Gum Drops

**A/N: **Hello! Here's another chapter. Sorry it took so long, I got stuck and needed help from my Beta-Reader to finally get it finished XD  
>But it's done!<p>

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><p>Living with the devil twins was utterly exhausting. Every five minutes they'd be in my room, asking me if I wanted to play another one of their stupid games or making more pet jokes. I was also in three of their classes at school and just being in their presence was enough to give me a migraine.<p>

I had but one thing that was worth it at the end of the day: strawberry gum drops. Oh Kami; strawberry gum drops. They were an orgasm on your tongue. I loved them almost as much as I loved Bones. Which is why when I reached into my duffle-bag tucked safely underneath my bed for another box and found that it was empty, I had a mental breakdown.

"I was sure I packed two weeks' worth of them!" I growled, diving into my suitcase to rummage around desperately for my next box. Fourteen boxes I had put in my snack bag. I'd counted three times for good measure before I'd thrown my bags onto the back of Dad's truck.

I now stormed out of my room to burst into Hikaru and Kaoru's. They were playing another game on Kaoru's laptop. Neither twin looked up from the screen to acknowledge my entrance. They were ignoring me while I was in the middle of a crisis.

"Which one of you ate my strawberry gum drops?!" I roared. Kaoru turned, but only to raise an eyebrow at me. It wasn't even an 'Oh, whatever dilemma have you encountered, Matsu?' eyebrow raise either, it was more like a 'Wow, this girl is psycho' eyebrow raise. His acknowledgment was admittedly far better than Hikaru's though, who merely sniffed without looking away from the screen.

"Ew, why would we want to go through your stuff?" the latter retorted as he tapped several arrow keys on the keyboard.

"We don't eat commoner's sweets," Kaoru added and I glared at both of them before pouting and folding my arms across my chest.

"Then who ate them?" I whimpered. It was moments like these where you didn't know whether to start hitting things or start bawling your eyes out.

"We don't know. Close the door properly on your way out, commoner," Hikaru said dismissively. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Manger de la merde!" I hissed in reply before stalking out of the room, purposely leaving the door wide open. I liked insulting people in French because not only did it feel good to swear at people without them understanding but it made you sound sexy while doing so. Call me a weirdo, but I think angry and sexy is a good combination.

I pouted again as soon as I was out in the hallway. If the twins hadn't taken my strawberry gum drops, who had?

I narrowed my eyes in sudden realization. Wait a second. I dug into my pocket for my cell phone. Pressing the speed dial three, I pushed the device against my ear impatiently.

"Hello, who might this be?" asked the voice on the other end of the line.

My frown deepened. "Masaru, it's me, Matsu. Did you delete me from your phone contacts?"

"I'm sorry, the only Matsu I know is a traitorous bitch who decided to ditch me in this hell-hole for the snotty brats at Ouran." I rolled my eyes. Masaru was the number one drama queen in the family with Natsumi an EXTREMELY close second. Actually, who am I kidding? They were probably both tied.

"Stop being a drama queen; you wanted to stay. And you wanted to get rid of me," I pointed out. Though it was pretty much useless, since logic had never been one of his concerns.

"Yeah, but I miss you now. NOBODY can cook in this house. You're not exactly Jamie Oliver, but Kenzo can't even make toast without setting the fire alarms off and Natsumi only eats her gluten-free vegetarian shit and can't even make a fucking decent sandwich! I mean, aren't hot girls supposed to be good at making sandwiches? She tried to put white crap in it. She called it tofu. Don't ever try it, it's fucking disgusting."

"Why don't you try cooking?" I asked innocently.

"Hahaha, that's a good one. When are you coming back?"

"Not for a while. Where's Kenzo? Put him on the phone."

"Oh, so you don't want to talk to me now?" Kami, he was just as whiny as ever.

"You deleted me from your contacts," I reminded him.

"You left me here with an empty stomach."

"Just put Kenzo on the phone!" I barked into the receiver. I could hear my brother rubbing his ear on the other end. "Okay, okay, here he is." There were muffled sounds before a slightly deeper voice spoke.

"Yo."

"Did you eat my strawberry gum drops?!" I demanded.

"Oh, nice to speak to you again, Matsu. No, I didn't steal them. Why would you think that?"

"Because you're a selfish strawberry-gum-drop-stealing bastard."

"I'd never steal from you!" he denied, triggering an eye-roll from me.

"Bull-SHIT."

"Okay fine, I took a box or two," he admitted grudgingly.

"You took SEVEN! I'm going to die now thanks to you!"

"Just get the twins to buy you more. They're loaded aren't they?" I frowned again.

"Yeah, but they hate me."

"I wonder why."

"Screw you."

"You're as charming as ever."

"Shut it with the sarcasm already!" I sighed before pressing the phone to my ear again. "Send me eight boxes through the mail."

"What? I only took seven! And I'm not sending them to you!"

"The extra box is your way of apologizing for taking them in the first place."

"Forget it. Just go to the supermarket and buy some!"

"But-"

BEEP, BEEP, BEEP.

"That asshole hung up on me," I grumbled as I sauntered back to my room. How was I going to last without my strawberry gum drops? Arrrrgh, I was craving them soooo bad! I had money, but I needed a way to get to the supermarket. I sat on my bed and pouted, crossing my arms over my chest. I was so angry. I felt like screaming into my pillow, but Nami had put my pillow case in the washing machine and I didn't want to scream into a case-less pillow, because last time I did, I ended up with a mouthful of cotton and feathers.

Just as I was contemplating going back to the twins' room to negotiate, my bedroom door swung open and said devils entered the room. They seemed to be in distress about something. Pfft, join the fucking club.

"Matsu-chan! We're bored, tell us what to do!" Kaoru complained, flopping down next to me on the bed and quickly followed by Hikaru.

"I thought you two were playing your stupid computer game," I muttered. Hikaru shook his head.

"We clocked it. And now we're bored again." I glared at both of them, as Kaoru started tugging on my hair and Hikaru poked me in the shoulder repeatedly. Why were they so attention-seeking? They were worse than Masaru and Kenzo. Well...maybe not Masaru. Masaru was the attention-seeking KING.

"What happened to 'Close the door on your way out, commoner'?" I asked bitterly, turning my head towards the window.

"You didn't actually close the door," Kaoru remarked. My gaze flickered back to him in the form of a glare.

"So what? You're bored. What do you expect me to do about it? I'm not your personal entertainer," I scoffed. They both shrugged and I sighed, before an idea lit up in my brain.

Why didn't I think of this earlier?

I sprung up from the bed and beamed at Hikaru and Kaoru, who seemed slightly confused at my sudden change in attitude. "I know what will cure your boredom! We can go an adventure to a commoner's supermarket and get the best strawberry treats on this earth!" I suggested with overly-exaggerated enthusiasm. Hikaru stuck out his tongue at me.

"We've already been to a commoner's supermarket. With Haruhi," he said. Bleh. Why was everything always about Haruhi? Getting compared to him all the time just because we were both commoners was starting to get annoying. Maybe the twins had boy-crushes on him. He WAS really cute. In that weird, girlish sort of way.

"Yes, that may be true but you've never been to a supermarket with me before, have you?" I questioned.

"Well, no," Kaoru answered and I clapped my hands decisively.

"Right. So, let's get a move on!"

"But Matsu-chan, we've already been to-"

"Do you want to go on an adventure or not?"

"..."

"Well?"

"Fine."

"Cool, now let's get a move on."

* * *

><p>The Ouran supermarket was exactly the same as the supermarket in Inagi, except the aisles were arranged in a COMPLETELY different order. Which I think is totally stupid. Surely, it'd be easier just to number all the aisles the same in every supermarket to prevent confusion among shoppers. I suspect that the "big guys" higher up in the supermarket-business-trade-thing get a kick out of watching hopeless customers such as myself navigate the store.<p>

Oh well. At least I didn't have to walk.

"Matsu-chaaaaan, can we have a turn in the trolley now? I'm getting tired of pushing," Kaoru complained and I frowned at him.

"You can't possibly be tired yet, there are two of you pushing," I protested, gesturing to Hikaru who let out a groan.

"This sucks!" Hikaru agreed. "Going to the supermarket with Haruhi was a thousand times better."

There it was again! Kami, I was beginning to think it was a little more than just a boy-crush.

Rolling my eyes, I sighed in resignation as I climbed out of the cart, nudging the twins away from the handle-bar. "Fine, get in," I ordered. Their faces split into wide grins before they both leapt inside the trolley. How two teenage boys managed to shove themselves into a cart together so effortlessly, I had no idea.

I liked being the one pushed around in the trolley better, but it wasn't worth it if the twins were complaining and whining about it the whole time. I didn't deal well with whiners ever since Natsumi invaded our household. Every single day she'd find something new to complain about. 'My room isn't big enough!', 'Who moved my tooth brush?!', 'Ew, I hate Italian food', 'You didn't cut the crusts off my sandwich', 'The cat pissed in my bed!'. Honestly, it was never-ending.

"Hey, could you speed it up a bit, pet?" Hikaru asked impatiently. I frowned. Here come the complaints again.

"I'm going slow so it'll be easier to spot the confectionery aisle," I explained stiffly. Hikaru stuck out his tongue and flicked me in the forehead.

"I'm getting bored," he said. Kaoru nodded in agreement.

"And I'm thirsty! What kind of drinks do they have at commoner's supermarket? Can you buy us some?" Kaoru asked, leaning to the left side of the trolley and thus making it even more difficult to push.

Gripping the trolley handle in an attempt to reign in another shouting-fest, I scowled at the twins who were acting like two spoiled ten year olds ganging up on their babysitter.

"You two are LOADED. Why can't you buy drinks for yourselves? I was actually hoping that you two would be the ones buying ME stuff," I replied, pushing the trolley slightly faster after spotting the confectionery aisle on the other end of the supermarket. Hikaru did this half-snort, half-laugh thing and turned to me with a raised eyebrow.

"You're mean to us, why would we buy you stuff?"

"I'm not mean to you," I denied, even though I knew that wasn't true. I was mean to the twins, but I couldn't help it. They really ground my gears sometimes. And I don't mean that in a dirty way; I mean that in an annoying way.

"Okay then, prove it. Say something nice about both of us. Individually," Hikaru demanded. I sniffed.

"Easy as pie. I mean, I have lots of nice things to say about people. In fact, if I wrote them all down on a big list, it'd be about a gazillion miles long. The list would be so long that-"

"Stop stalling, Matsu," Kaoru told me and I poked my tongue out at him.

"Fine," I said, turning my focus to Hikaru who looked at me expectantly. He was trying to appear all stern and serious, but the effect got ruined by the fact that he was a five-foot-eleven boy crammed into a trolley with his also five-foot-eleven brother.

I furrowed my eyebrows together and racked my brain for nice, sugary things to say about him. Hmmm...Hikaru Hitachiin...what's a nice thing about Hikaru Hitachiin?

"..."

More raised eyebrows.

How was I supposed to do this? I wasn't a compliment-y type of person. This would be so much easier if he'd asked for insults. Yeah, insults I can do. They're so much easier to think of. It must be the Ikeda family genes. Nobody in my family does compliments. Except Masaru, but he only uses them to get into skirts. Wait! I had it!

"Hikaru, if you went to my school back in Inagi, I'm sure all the girls in my homeroom would want or try to bang you. That applies to Kaoru too. You're welcome."

Neither of them said anything for a few moments. They just gawked at me, eyes wide and mouths opened slightly. And this is why, ladies and gentleman, I never do compliments.

"That's gross! How is that a compliment?!" Kaoru demanded. I quirked an eyebrow at him.

"How is it not a compliment?"

"It's disgusting! I'd never even think about doing that kind of stuff to girls!" Hikaru exclaimed defensively, his face going pink at the same rate as Kaoru's. Another display of their creepy synchronization.

I sniffed. "Oh, stop acting all innocent. I saw your web history! Topless girls have a whipped cream fight? Naughty nurses? Maids gone wild?" I questioned Hikaru. His brown eyes widened to the size of saucers.

"Hikaru!" Kaoru scolded his older brother while Hikaru blinked at me in confusion.

"What? That wasn't me. I don't have any of those kinds of fetishes! And what were you doing on my laptop, anyway?"

Furrowing my eyebrows together, I turned to Kaoru. "Wait, if that wasn't Hikaru's history, then...Kaoru?" Kaoru shook his head.

"I have my own laptop. And I'm not a pervert." Hikaru frowned.

"Then who was on my laptop?"

We all stood there (well, I stood; Hikaru and Kaoru were sitting), at the entrance of the bread aisle with this thought ticking away through our confused brains, squinting slightly in concentration.

It was the twins who broke our silence. Simultaneously.

"Genji is so fired."

Oh. The shifty butler-guy. That made sense. Ew.

Cringing at the chance of that creepy butler touching the food on my dinner tray, I instantly perked up after spotting a sign. The confectionery aisle! Here at last!

I zoomed down to the end of the aisle, Hikaru and Kaoru clinging onto each other for dear life as I raced towards the packeted sweets section. Skidding the trolley to a halt was when I saw them:

STRAWBERRY GUM DROPS.

"Get out of the trolley!" I hollered, shaking the cart as the twins scrambled out in fear that I'd dump them on the floor. They wouldn't have been wrong.

I gathered twenty boxes of strawberry gum drops together and loaded them into the trolley. I would have grabbed more, but I found from past experiences that if I grabbed too much at one time, I'd eat them way too fast. Also, I was running kind of low on money and I needed to save some shopping money for when Hitomi and Megu were going to come visit me. If they were planning on visiting me, anyway. Those cows hadn't PM'd me since I'd arrived! Megu usually had her nose glued to her laptop screen after school!

"Matsu. I think you have a problem," Kaoru stated, eying the pile of strawberry gum drops I had loaded into the cart. "Matsu?" the same twin questioned after several moments of silence, poking me in the shoulder.

"Hello?" Hikaru waved his hand in front of my face. "What's she glaring at?"

"Oi, pet, pay attention!" The younger twin flicked me in the ear and I turned to glare at him, rubbing my sore ear.

"Ouch, what the hell was that for?"

"What were you staring at?" Kaoru asked. "If it's a guy, then he's probably out of your league."

Ignoring that snide comment, I pointed over to the sign at the end of the aisle. "Look at that," I said.

Hikaru raised an eyebrow at me. "Buy two boxes of tampons and get one free? Okay. That's not awkward." I rolled my eyes.

"No, not that, baka! The creep hiding behind the sign. You can tell he's after something."

"Like what?"

"I don't know. But I'm going to find out. You two guard the gum drops."

Feeling pretty heroic on my part, I stormed down towards the end of the aisle with full intent on giving the pedo-creep bastard a piece of my mind. I wasn't sure exactly what I was going to say but I figured that the words would come to me in the moment.

Except, just as I was about to kick down the sale-sign and start up my lecture, I was pulled back by both Hitachiin twins who were exchanging panicked looks with each other.

"Uh, Matsu, I don't think that's a good idea," Hikaru advised, his hand clamped over my wrist and tugging me back towards the trolley.

"Why not?" I demanded, struggling to free myself from their grips.

"Because, um...that guy might be dangerous," Kaoru answered, pulling me a few steps backward.

"Or completely innocent," Hikaru added. "You wouldn't want to embarrass yourself, would you?"

"But that guy has a target!" I insisted. "Look, he just changed hiding positions. Are you coming or not?"

I wrenched away from the twins and ran down the aisle after the creep in the white bandana. Honestly, Hikaru and Kaoru were no help at all. Didn't they care about the safety of the creep's target? I was sure they had better morals than that.

Rounding the corner (and narrowly missing a pyramid of canned peaches) I spotted him again. He was peering through the cracker shelf at a girl. A teenaged girl. Ew. Creepy old men prying on innocent young girls are the worst. Seriously? Was it that hard to find someone your own age? In my opinion, all the creepy old men should pair up with all the creepy old women and they can creep around in the company of each other.

I walked down the spice aisle, where the brunette soon-to-be-victim stood before the toothpaste shelf, seemingly debating on whether to purchase 'ultra whitening' or 'plaque remover'.

"Um, excuse me, Miss!" I called out to her. The stalker's gaze flicked to me curiously as I approached the girl.

"Matsu, wait!" Hikaru and Kaoru appeared at my tail. Kami, they were annoying. It wasn't as if I was planning on beating the pedo up or anything. All I planned on doing was warning the girl. No harm in that, even if I did happen to be wrong - which was very unlikely.

The brown-haired girl didn't pay any attention to me; she was too focused on the two boxes of toothpaste. My, my, this girl would have been an easy target. All it would take to get her into your van would be a free box of bubblegum toothpaste. This creep was good at choosing his stalk-ees.

"Hey." I tapped her on the shoulder. But the moment she turned around, and our eyes clashed...

"Haruhi?"

Oh my.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Cliffhanger anyone? Oh well, I'm sure you'll live, I think this was an extra long chapter anyway. Please review and tell me what you think, compliments and criticism are welcome :D Thank you for reading and putting up with my slow updates :3 


	5. Chapter 5: Gender Confusion

**A/N: **Heh, I think I'm getting better at updating. Then again, that's probably 'cause of my beta reader XD  
>Thanks for all the reviews, I'm glad you all seem to like Matsu. Enjoy this chapter :D<br>-

Haruhi Fujioka. The intelligent and effortlessly charming brunette who could bring girls to their knees with a single hair flip. Yes, THE Haruhi Fujioka is a female. Mhm, a female. As in, possesses womanly parts yet still resembles an extremely attractive teenage boy. Oh my. If I was into pretty boys, there is no doubt that I would have become an unintentional lesbian. Holy shit.

"Hi!" I exclaimed in an attempt to sound friendly and totally not awkward. That backfired, though, because the forced enthusiasm made me sound hysterical - which I wasn't, by the way. I was completely fine with the whole situation; not freaking out at all. That's me. Cool as a cucumber.

"Haruhi...You look...um, nice today."

She laughed awkwardly, straightening out the creases in her cardigan before looking up at me guiltily.

"I suppose you want an explanation."

"And spare me the pain of asking you several uncomfortable questions? Yes, please." Haruhi took a deep breath as a prelude to what I assumed would be a long explanation.

"Well, in case you haven't noticed, I am a-"

"HARUHI!"

With a single shove from both of the twins, my back slammed into an old lady's trolley before falling ass-first onto the cold stone floor. And it. Freaking. Hurt.

"You fuckwits! You don't need to push me out of the way every time you want to talk to Haruhi. Just ask me to move!" I cursed as I clambered to my feet, rubbing my sore behind.

Kaoru gave me a disapproving look, his arm now thrown over Haruhi's slim shoulders. "Now, now, pet, there's no need for that kind of language."

"Yes, save the vulgar words for your commoner friends." Hikaru nodded in agreement. Suppressing the urge to backhand them both into the toothpaste shelf, I turned to address the more important matter at hand.

"Why are you pretending to be a guy?" I asked Haruhi. Only, before she could open her mouth, Hikaru and Kaoru had decided to interrupt me. Again. I couldn't say I was surprised.

"What? Haruhi _is_ a guy," Kaoru corrected me.

"He's just really into cross-dressing. It's a hobby of his and he's really good at it. Right, Haruhi? Tell Matsu just how much you love to cross-dress," Hikaru continued, elbowing the brunette in her ribs.

I gave Haruhi a once over. No Adam's apple, cleanly shaven legs, and slender, very feminine shoulders. This was definitely no cross-dresser. A raised eyebrow conveyed my doubt.

"Are you sure about that?" I asked. Hikaru and Kaoru nodded confidently. Haruhi on the other hand, didn't look so confident.

"Do you think we'd ever lie to you, Matsu-chan?" Kaoru pouted as Hikaru reached out to touch my cheek.

"We wouldn't dream of lying to you," Hikaru told me, laying the charm on thick while giving me a smile that was on the border of hypnotic. They must have been hiding something. Within normal circumstances, it would never cross their minds to use their host tricks on me. I was certain they were concealing something about Haruhi Fujioka, and not being one to keep to my own business I was going to find out what it was.

So, I reached out for the only two things you need for gender confirmation. Boobs. Yes, that's right. I pressed my hand against Haruhi Fujioka's chest to check for boobs.

"What are you doing?" Haruhi asked uncertainly, backing into the toothpaste shelf. A few boxes of floss clattered to the floor.

Removing my hand from her chest, I smiled triumphantly, ignoring the stares I was receiving from the twins...and the old lady whose trolley I'd had the misfortune to collide with.

"Those were definitely boobs. They're A-cups, but they're still there and real. You are definitely a girl," I decided before shooting a wary glance at the twins. "What's your problem? Stop staring at me like that," I snapped in agitation.

What the hell WAS their problem? They were looking at me as if I'd just molested her. Which I didn't, by the way; I'm pretty sure it only counts as molestation if you try to grope around. But, there was no reply to my inquiry. For once, neither of the Hitachiin brothers had a comeback.

Haruhi shuffled uncomfortably in the silence. To be honest, I don't think she was perturbed by my groping, but more-so from Hikaru and Kaoru's reactions. Their eyes were flicking back and forth from my hand to Haruhi's chest.

"Y-You….I can't believe you just did that," Hikaru stammered.

"And in the middle of the supermarket, as well!" Kaoru exclaimed in disgust. I rolled my eyes.

"When are you two going to grow up? I pressed my hand against her chest, it's not like I shoved my hand down her top."

"It really isn't anything to worry about," Haruhi assured them, in a futile attempt to diffuse the argument. Bless her.

"Don't defend the perverted lesbian, Haruhi," Hikaru told her, stepping in front of her protectively.

"You could see the glint in her eyes when she touched your breast. It was exactly like Milord's," Kaoru added, joining his brother's side.

"Stay away from Haruhi!" they both said in unison. Haruhi sweat-dropped. This was starting to get extremely annoying.

"Let me make this clear," I hissed. "I am not lesbian. I thoroughly enjoy the sight of shirtless boys and two months ago when I accidentally smacked lips with Reika Osaka, I _didn't_like it. So, you two can shut your pie holes and let Haruhi explain to me what the hell is going on!"

Hikaru and Kaoru stared at me with wide eyes.

"You've actually kissed a girl before?"

"I _really_don't want to talk about it." We stood there for a few moments, staring each other down before Haruhi decided to bring the conversation back on-topic.

Clearing her throat to relieve the tension, Haruhi nudged through the twin's barricade and regarded me with a guilt-ridden smile.

"Ikeda-san, you were right to claim that I am female. Biologically, I'm a girl. I'm only posing as a male to pay off the debt I owe to the host club," she explained. I raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"What debt?" I asked. Haruhi didn't seem like the type to borrow money. She was far too sensible for that.

The brunette laughed sheepishly, scratching the back of her head so her bangs fell over her face. "I kind of…broke a vase," she answered in a way that made you want to hug the living daylights of her. It then appeared as if the twins had shared the same idea.

"Aaah, you're so cute, Haruhi!" they exclaimed simultaneously, wrapping their arms around her and squeezing her tightly. I watched in amusement as Haruhi struggled in their grasps, her pleads for oxygen muffled by the arms pressed against her face.

When she managed to get her head out, Haruhi yelled, "Let me go you guys! I'm serious, I can't breathe!" I felt bad for laughing at her expense, but I couldn't help it. It was a nice change to see the twins bothering someone other than me.

However, once Haruhi's face began to truly look oxygen deprived, I decided to give her a hand. "You two should stop it now. You're going to kill her," I told them. Hikaru poked his tongue out at me.

"Don't tell us what to do," he retorted, but they released Haruhi anyway.

Happy that Haruhi's gender was finally established, it was then that I remembered what I'd actually approached her for. The pedo, who was _still_peeking through the shelf, listening in on our conversation. Seriously, this guy was persistent.

"Oh, I almost forgot to tell you, but there's this creep that's been following you around the supermarket. I think you have a stalker on your hands," I informed Haruhi, who furrowed her eyebrows together in confusion.

"Huh?" She turned around to look through the shelf, but the creep was gone. Heh. He must've gotten scared and ran off once I/d pointed him out. I hope he's embarrassed, prying on an innocent soul like Haruhi. Honestly, the nerve.

As I was about to bid Haruhi goodbye and return to my trolley full of strawberry gum-drops, a man appeared at the end of the aisle...The creep.

His bandana had fallen down to reveal long, wavy red locks, and he had his hands placed on his hips in a way that suggested unhappiness.

"Dad?" said the brunette, with an unimpressed frown.

I quirked an eyebrow. Dad? He was her dad? Just when I thought this supermarket couldn't get any weirder.

The man stormed towards us and jabbed a finger in the direction of my face.

"I am not a creep! How dare you accuse me of being a creepy stalker like that. I may follow Haruhi to the supermarket sometimes and spy on her while she's out with her friends but I am not a stalker!"

"How was I supposed to know you were her dad? The way you were following her around suggested otherwise and I didn't want her to get hurt!" I defended myself, my brain screaming at me to grab one of the twins and use them as a shield.

However, there was no need for a Hitachiin shield. The man's face relaxed as he blinked at me. "You didn't want her to get hurt?" he asked, eyes softening. Kami, what a mood change. This guy was scarier than Natsume on PMS. And that, my friends, was petrifying.

"Yeah," I confirmed. Of course, he didn't need to know that I didn't even know it was Haruhi until I walked up to her and that I would have warned any random stranger.

Then, he smiled an extremely girlish smile which was reminiscent of Haruhi's and patted me on the head.

"I'm so happy my daughter's finally got a female friend! I was beginning to worry because it can't be healthy being around boys all the time. My name's Ranka." He held out his hand for me to shake, and I took it reluctantly, scared that it might be a trap.

"Matsuko Ikeda," I replied, before leaning in closer to his face. "Are you wearing…mascara?"

He grinned, batting his eyelashes at me. "Yes, I am. I work at a cross-dressing bar."

A cross-dressing bar? So…Haruhi cross-dresses at school and her dad cross-dresses at work? To be honest, it's easily believable judging by his posture and trademark girlish smile that Haruhi seemed to have inherited off of him.

His make-up was very minimal, consisting of only light eye-make-up but it was done very skillfully. Looking closer, he had two coats of mascara on, one used for lengthening and the other for thickness. He'd also applied eyeliner to the top lids and neglected the bottom so it was difficult to tell that he was even wearing any make-up. This guy knew his shit.

Lord, being around Hitomi so often has installed an instant cake-face monitor in my brain.

"I'm sorry for accusing you of being a creep," I apologized before whipping around to look at the twins. "But, hey! You recognized him, didn't you? Why didn't you tell me it was Haruhi's dad?" I questioned, trying to shake off the embarrassment that was beginning to crawl to my cheeks.

Hikaru and Kaoru shrugged. "We didn't want you to find out about Haruhi. A big-mouth like you can't be trusted," Hikaru told me simply and I glared at them.

"Who would I have to tell anyway? Nobody at your stupid school will even talk to me," I argued, crossing my arms over my chest.

"I wonder why," Kaoru retorted sarcastically. Resisting the urge to flip him off, I turned back to Haruhi and Ranka.

"Well, this meeting was pleasant, but I think it's time I tended to my strawberry gum drops. Come on, brats." With that, I waved goodbye to Haruhi and Ranka who seemed to have already taken off into deep discussion about why the man had decided to follow her to the supermarket.

"We want half."

I scowled at Hikaru and Kaoru. The twins were, at the moment, blocking the elevator with their palms held out in expectation.

"No. Fucking. Way. I bought them with _my_money. If you want some, then ask your scary twin maids to go collect them for you at the supermarket," I said firmly, my plastic bag filled to the brim with packages of strawberry treats clutched tightly to my chest.

Can you believe the nerve of them? How many times have I reminded them that they're freaking loaded!? They could have easily bought their own gum drops while we were there! In fact, they probably could have a whole truck-load of them if they wanted! And I really hate sharing.

"But we don't want to the gum drops at the supermarket, we want those ones," Kaoru said. My eyes narrowed at him.

"You just want me to suffer, don't you?"

"Pretty much," the older twin admitted. "But we gave you a lift there, so you owe us and it's justified."

"All favours come with a price," Kaoru reminded me in an annoying, sing-song voice.

I sighed. I should have known. The Hitachiin brothers and I weren't really on good terms with each other, and I'm sure that if it wasn't for their mother I would've been kicked out by now.

So, I reached into the plastic bag and handed them a box of strawberry gum drops.

"There you go. Knock yourselves out," I said, heading towards the elevator again.

"Thanks." Hikaru grinned, snatching the rest of the bag of gum drops from my hands as I walked past and throwing them to Kaoru. "Run, Kaoru!" he yelled. Kaoru bolted up the staircase at an impressive speed, laughing tauntingly whilst I struggled to shove past Hikaru who was preventing me from hunting down the other thieving twin.

"You assholes! You'll pay for this!" I growled, thrashing in his grip and already forming plans of vengeance. "Kaoru, get back here!"

Yes. The Hitachiin twins will regret the day they crossed Matsuko Ikeda, the Queen of Strawberry Gum Drops.

Seriously, they're gonna pay.

-  
>Matsu will get her revenge in the next chapter. The twins are so mean. What do you think would be a good way for Matsu to get revenge on the twins? I already have a few ideas. Please review, all feedback is appreciated :D<br>Thanks for reading!


	6. Chapter 6: And so the war begins

**A/N: **Hello! Here's another chapter :D Hope you enjoy it. Please review and give me some tips/advice, I'm actually kind of stuck at the moment so all feedback on this chapter will be greatly appreciated.

* * *

><p>The twins thought they were <em>sooooo <em>clever. And funny. Yes, I was basically laughing my ass off when they thrust almost all of my hard-earned gum drops down the waste disposal. I could just imagine the conversation they must have had before going to sleep.

"Oh, Kaoru, wasn't today just so _droll_?"

"Yes! The jokes we make at Matsu's expense are absolutely hilarious!"

"Now that we've destroyed twenty boxes of all that she depends on for survival, what should we do for our next laugh?"

"I know, let's run over her cat!"

I stabbed at my rice angrily, my chopsticks hitting the bottom of the bowl with a clang. Oh, they may be laughing their pure-silk boxer shorts off at this moment but let me tell you this: No-one fucks with me and gets away with it.

My brothers knew this well enough. An eye for an eye; it was simple enough. When Masaru thought it would be funny to shave my eyebrows off, I super-glued to his hand to his crotch. After Kenzo had tossed me in a filthy sewage-smelling creek on the way to school one day, I let Bones piss on his tooth-brush.

Of course, this didn't actually work out ideally because Masaru and Kenzo decided to team up and I ended up suspended from our balcony by the hood of my sweatshirt. But that wasn't the point. The point was that the Hitachiin twins were going to pay. I glared at my chopsticks. Oh, they were going to pay majorly. In fact, phase one of my revenge scheme had already been successfully completed. The twins were in for a surprise this morning.

"Matsu, please stop scowling at the rice. It's beginning to scare me." Yuzuha said from across the table, sipping at her tea. She didn't seem scared .Just bored and a bit tired. I'd completely forgotten she was there, which was unusual since the woman had a knack for commanding all the attention in the room. Then again, we didn't often eat breakfast together with this morning as an exception. I couldn't say I wasn't pleased. Unlike her sons, Yuzuha was a pleasure to eat breakfast with.

I frowned at her. "Since when was rice-scowling banned?"

"Ever since I said so. So, about eleven seconds ago. You glare at one more grain of rice and I'm burying you alive in the garden." She said, cracking a grin.

"How are my boys treating you?" She asked, even though by the smirk on her lips told me she already knew my answer.

"Like shit." I answered blandly. She scowled at me.

"Excuse-me?"

I coughed. "Sorry. I meant like…not well."

She offered me a sympathetic smile. "Those two misbehave sometimes but overall they mean well. Don't be too hard on them, they're both pretty sensitive. They got that trait from their father."

I inwardly scoffed. Sensitive my ass, I could count past my fingers how many times they've insulted me. 'Why is your skirt so short? Is that the kind of girl you guys to think you are?', 'That hair-style makes you look like a man', 'Woah, that is one big zit', 'You walk like a freaking duck, no wonder you don't have a boyfriend', 'We can't have a commoner sitting on our bed, sit on the floor.'

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah. Really sensitive." Ignoring the sarcasm dripping from my reply, Yuzuha beamed at me.

"There's an obvious answer to all your problems, Matsu." She said, setting her cup down and sliding her chair back.

"What?" I asked.

"Don't let them get bored." She gave me a wink before heading towards the front door which was being held open by her notably patient assistant. "When the boys get out of the bathroom, tell them I love 'em!" And blowing me a farewell kiss, she strode out the door to her unnecessarily large, shiny limo, barking orders at her assistant as she left.

I smiled. It was good that Yuzuha left before the twins came downstairs. I wanted to keep their reaction to my little revenge prank to myself. It was only phase one of my plan so I'd decided to keep it low key. I was sure that being pampered and spoilt, Hikaru and Kaoru weren't as familiar to revenge pranks as I was so I'd decided to kind of ease them into it.

You know, keep everything tame until I brought out the big guns. Although, even though the prank was a C-Grade maximum, I was still interested to see their reactions. Would they shrug it off? Would they yell at me? Send their crazy matching-maid-twins on me like a pack of dogs? Admittedly, I didn't know either of them very well so it was difficult to predict the outcome.

I sent a glance towards the elevator and frowned. What were those two doing? I smirked. They were probably still in the bathroom, trying to scrub their faces. Hehehe, good luck with that.

At that precise moment, the elevator doors separated with a _ding _and there stood Hikaru and Kaoru, eyes narrowed. They did not look friendly. In fact, they seemed to be emitting this black aura that was filling up the bottom floor quicker than Kenzo's BO after football practise. Even though I couldn't say they weren't scaring me a little, I hardly ever got a rise out of those two so I decided to milk it. Good.

"Mor-ning!" I chirped happily through a mouthful of rice, waving my chopsticks in the direction of the elevator. Kaoru looked as if he wanted to shout at me or rip my hair out strand by strand, but managed to reign in the temper tantrum and settled for a solid glare. Hikaru on the other hand-

"You little mongrel." He hissed, "What the hell did you do to our faces?! You think this is funny? 'Cause it's not! It's not funny!" He gestured to his forehead in which I'd vandalised the night before.

Hmm, I guess I'd have to agree with him there. All I'd done was write 'Tweedle dee' and 'Tweedle dum' on their foreheads in thick black permanent marker. No, that was only slightly amusing. It was their reactions which had me giggling. And I hardly ever 'giggled' but this moment was appropriate because it seemed to piss them off even more.

"And was up with the whipped cream? Do you know how annoying that was to get out of my hair? You made it go all stiff and disgusting!" Kaoru growled, patting his fringe which seemed perfectly fine to me.

"What kind of marker did you use, anyway? It won't come off!" Hikaru demanded.

"Oh God, and we have to go to school like this!" Kaoru realised, panic taking over his features.

Too angry and frustrated to stay in one place, the twins stormed over to the end of the table where I happened to be sitting and loomed over me, each giving me identical face-melting glares.

"What are you going to do about this, _dog?_" They both in asked in low, menacing voices. Which would have been sexy if I weren't so terrified. Except the dog part of course. Being called a dog really isn't a turn-on.

Without flinching, I glanced up and looked them both straight in the eye.

"Are you referring to me? Well, I'm not going to do anything except laugh at your expense and eat rice and leftover whipped cream." I swallowed a lump of rice to emphasise my point. "Pay-back's a bitch isn't it?"

Smiling triumphantly, I finished off the rest of my rice and stood up to deliver the bowl into the kitchen sink. However, I was halted by a particularly sinister voice.

"You're right, Ikeda-san." Kaoru said with a glint in his eye that almost made my toes curl.

"Pay-back is….rather unpleasant." Hikaru finished. His eyes gleamed even brighter than Kaoru's, a dangerous crimson colouring his irises.

"Whatever." I shrugged. Even though I knew the situation couldn't be dismissed with a simple 'whatever'.

Despite the lack of effort I'd put into my prank, during the day I'd received a heaping load of positive feedback from Tamaki. I wasn't sure if it was the twin's faces, the misspelling of 'Tweedle' on Hikaru's forehead, or the fact that I'd vandalised the twin's foreheads in the night but that kid laughed so hard I thought he was going to piss his trousers. Kyoya ended up having to drag him to his next class by the collar of his blazer.

It goes without saying that after that, the twins were even more pissed at me- especially when one of their clients let a tiny giggle escape her mouth. She was sent to another host immediately, probably due to the resemblance her giggle had to mine.

Anyway, to lay this out for you, I knew that Hikaru and Kaoru weren't exactly in the best mood with me. They were definitely planning something and I had prepared myself for retaliation. Perhaps they'd freeze all my underwear, lock me in a supply closet for a few hours or make a bonfire fuelled by all my valuable possessions…however, no matter how flexible my imagination tended to be, I would never have even dreamed of what they happened to have in store for me.

The day that followed happened to be one of the worst Wednesdays of my life.

Let's put it this way: I woke up chained to my head-board.

I immediately kicked off the covers while my hands swooped to my neck, gripping at the collar that now accessorized my throat. Yanking at the metal, I scowled as the collar stubbornly stuck in place.

"Seriously, fuck my life. This can't be happening." I groaned, giving the collar another sharp tug.

Oh, but it was.

Forgetting that the other end of the chain was latched to the headboard, I nearly strangled myself as I rolled off the bed and the metal violently jerked against my throat. After coughing out choking noises that were very much like the sounds that Bones made every time she fell into the fish tank, I scrambled back onto the bed.

"Nami-saaaan!" I bellowed like a child, knocking my fist against the head-board for emphasis.

Almost immediately, the door swung open and my ever-so-faithful maid entered the room, her hands folded in her lap attentively.

"Yes, Matsuko-sama?" She asked. It was obvious she had noticed my predicament because her mouth was even tighter than usual which meant she was trying to hold back a smirk. I really couldn't work out whose team this woman was on.

"The twins are picking on me again." I complained, even though I knew she didn't actually care.

"I can see that," She replied, "The young masters seem to enjoy amusing themselves at your expense. It has become their new hobby."

"Well, do you have anything to get me out of this thing? Like a hacksaw or a torch or something?"

The woman shook her head. "Unfortunately, we do not have those certain appliances."

"So, you're telling me that there's a candyfloss machine, an aquarium and a freaking water slide but you don't have a hack-saw."

Nami nodded. I felt like throwing my lamp at her. But I didn't because that was just plain mean especially since Nami hadn't ever done anything nasty to me. That I was aware of, anyway.

It was at that moment, when I'd snatched my hand away from the lamp that the Hitachiin twins decided to grace me with their presence. Well, technically presence_s _but to be honest I only of saw them as one person. They were already in their uniforms (Did they sleep in those things? I'd never seen them in their pyjamas), and they seemed as cheerful as ever as they both bounced towards my bed, grinning so hard their cheeks were almost pushed up past their eyes.

"Are you liking your new leash, pet?" Hikaru asked devilishly, leaning in close so enough so he could flash me a smirk yet far way enough so I couldn't quite boot him in the face. Which I would have gladly done if it were possible.

"We had it custom made just for you." Kaoru chirped.

I rolled my eyes, not wanting to give them the enjoyment of another one of my rage fits. After all, it had only been yesterday that I'd been in their position and from that experience I knew that anger would only be seen as a victory. I supposed we were similar in that way.

"Well, there you go. You've had your laugh and your rub-it-in-Matsu's-face moment. Now let me out of this thing so I can go to school." I said, pointing to the collar while raising an eyebrow at the twins expectantly.

And then they did their creepy, simultaneous laugh-slash-cackle routine, giving me a feeling of uneasiness. Kaoru tilted his head to the side and smiled at me.

"Nice try Matsu-chan, but we're not letting you get away that easily." He said. As usual, Hikaru finished his sentence without missing a beat.

"The leash is our way of punishing you for your behaviour yesterday. You'll wear it until we've decided your punishment is over. Which means, you're going to school today as our pet." Hikaru explained.

I folded my arms across my chest.

"There's no way I'm going to school wearing a leash. Even if you strapped me to a sled pulled by a dozen wild horses on steroids, I am not leaving this room until you get this thing off me. Is that clear?"

Giving a determined nod, my eyes met with Hikaru's. And his eyes softened in a way that made me believe that somewhere buried in that black endless pit where his heart was supposed to be, was a sensitive, caring-

"Bahahahaha, as if!"

Asshole. A completely insensitive asshole to the core.

Needless to say, I ended up going to school.


	7. Chapter 7: Fan girls and bus stops

**A/N: **Okay, I'm sorry this is so late, I'm horrible at updating, I know but I seriously lacked inspiration for this chapter :O I eventually found incentive to write it though because of those two insanely funny and good looking British youtuber twins that remind me of Hikaru and Kaoru. So yeah. The next chapter should be up sooner. Thanks for all the lovely reviews for the last chapter. I know Ouran fics (especially the OC ones) don't usually get many reviews so I am extremely grateful :D This chapter's a bit longer than usual (I think it is anyway) to make up for it's lateness.

Enjoy readers :3

"Eat it," he said, extending his hand towards me to offer what appeared to be an innocent chocolate chip cookie. I narrowed my eyes at the crumbling treat.

"What did you put in it?" I questioned skeptically, wondering if he'd slipped a good dose of rat poison inside the batter, or even worse - raisins. Bleh, I hated those things.

Kaoru frowned. "Nothing. It's just a cookie, nothing more, nothing less." He broke off a chunk and slid it into his mouth to prove the validity of his statement. "See?"

"Oh, okay." I blinked. "Thank you?" I reached out to grab the cookie but Hikaru slapped my hand away.

"Not so fast, commoner. You're our dog remember?" He tugged at my leash as a reminder. I scowled at him.

"So?"

The older twin's face cracked into a devious grin. "Dogs don't have hands. They use their mouths to eat."

"You can't be serious-"

"Oh, but I am," he assured me. "You want to get out of that leash, right? So eat out of his hand."

It is a proven fact that school sucks sixteen times more when you have two spoiled teenage boys tugging you around on a leash. This proof being today's experience, acting as Hikaru and Kaoru's dog for the day. I can assure you, this had to be the most humiliating day of my life. And that includes the day that bitch Haruka Kudo caught me picking my wedgie in an assembly and thought it would be funny to announce it to the whole school - through the microphone. I narrowed my eyes at Hikaru.

"I swear that if you don't let me out of this thing right now, I'll-"

"You'll what?" Hikaru interrupted, smirking as I struggled to think of an immediate answer.

"I'll- I'll…" Dammit, I why couldn't I think of anything? Kaoru grinned, tugging at the collar so my mouth moved closer to the cookie.

"What's the matter pet? Short on threats at the moment, are we?" he taunted as he pushed the cookie closer to my mouth. I sent him a bitter smile before clapping my hands on his cheeks and squeezing. Stupid Kaoru, this was what happened when you invaded my personal space.

"Shove that cookie any nearer to my face," I growled, pulling at his cheeks so his face resembled one of those clowns off of a corny horror movie, "and I will literally rip your face in two. You hear me?"

Kaoru frowned and I released his cheeks.

"That was really mean, pet." He pouted, watery eyes widening, and I quirked an eyebrow at him. Since when was Kaoru such a baby? He only acted that way when he was playing host and-

"Kaoru, are you okay? I can't believe she did that to you!"

Oh crap, I'd completely forget we were in the host room. The girls, whom I presumed were Hikaru and Kaoru's regular guests crowded around Kaoru, stroking his face and comforting him as if I'd given him a black eye or something. Typical. He drags me around the room on a chain and they're off giggling in the corner. I give his cheeks a bit of a pinch and suddenly I'm the bad guy. You'd think since these kids' parents were paying small fortunes a year towards their child's education that they wouldn't be so….stupid. I supposed education wasn't really equivalent to intelligence after all.

"Ah, your cheek is so red! Does it hurt? Did she break anything?" a red-haired girl fussed frantically and I sweat-dropped. Yup, definitely not equivalent to intelligence.

"I'm going to the ladies room," I announced to nobody in particular as I slid off my seat. Not bothering to hold my leash, I let the chain drag across floor while I trudged towards the bathroom.

Even though I saw the Ouran Bathrooms more than once a day (I have a tiny bladder), the prissiness never failed to amaze me. Rose petal soap, scented toilet paper, a free tampon dispenser and as if that weren't enough, there was a couch in the bathroom. Yes, a freaking couch. So, if all the stalls were occupied, you could sit your tosh down on a velvet-covered couch while you waited for another girl to finish tinkling.

Nice, Ouran. Nice.

Anyway, I entered the bathroom and walked straight to the mirror (because I didn't need to pee, I just wanted an excuse to get away from the devil twins). My hair was all over the show, probably due to the fact that it hadn't been combed this morning and Hikaru and Kaoru had taken to ruffling it condescendingly every time I obliged to their ridiculous requests. To top the whole look off, I had bags under my eyes, which were probably emphasized from the bits of eyeliner I forgot to wash off last night. Great.

I was about to lean over the sink to splash water on my face when suddenly a girl with reddish brown hair appeared behind me. Jumping in fright (yeah, I'm not a big fan of people sneaking up behind me I the bathroom), I turned and regarded her expectantly.

"Can I help you?" I asked with a raised eyebrow. Looking closely, she kind of resembled one of those freaky dolls from horror movies. Her hair was cut into an old-fashioned bob and her eyes were wide and a blue so piercing it made me suspect she was wearing contact lenses. She looked me up and down before meeting my eyes with her cold gaze.

"What's your relationship with Hikaru and Kaoru-sama?" she questioned, her voice demanding and clipped. I blinked at her.

"What do you mean?" I asked. She rolled her eyes as if she were talking to an air-headed twelve year old girl. Um, rude.

"I mean," she said, talking deliberately slow to make me feel like an idiot, "what is your affiliation with them? Are you having romantic or sexual relations?" My mouth fell open as I stared at her blankly. Was this chick serious?

"What in the hell would make you think that?" I blurted out incredulously. Okay, sure maybe the sexual relations I would believe. There was no denying that the twins were very physically attractive. Let's be honest; I'd probably have gone there if they weren't annoying as hell. But romantic relations? What the fuck? Just the image of holding hands along a beach or having disgustingly sweet pet names for each other or doing the 'No you hang up' thing over the phone with either of the twins was enough to make me feel nauseous.

"You're always together, " she accused, leaning closer to my face. "And you always get special treatment."

Special treatment? That would only apply if special treatment meant getting treated like a dog that just recently rolled in its own shit. I gawked at her, pointing to the collar that hung around my neck.

"How is this special treatment?" I asked in disbelief.

She glared and pointed to my neck. "They've designated you their pet! How is that not special treatment? I would give an arm and leg to be bound to Hikaru and Kaoru-sama for just an hour!" she snapped. I flinched, about to tell her to calm her damn farm before an idea popped into my brain.

Perhaps I could use this crazy chick to my advantage. Ooh, it looked like my revenge would be coming sooner than I thought.

"It's actually very easy to get Hikaru and Kaoru's attention," I said, trying my best to keep a deviant smirk from gracing my features. I don't think I did a very good job, but luckily she didn't seem to notice.

Her eyes widened slightly.

"How?" she queried. I could tell she was trying not to sound too interested, but she gave it away by leaning in towards me, pursing her glossed lips in anticipation. I rested a hand against the marble sink and gave her a smile that I hoped would come off as warm and friendly.

"You see, Hikaru and Kaoru are both masochists at heart. They absolutely love it when you're cruel to them. So all you have to do is…well, be a complete bitch," I told her confidently, crossing an ankle over the other. She frowned, stepping back a bit.

"Somehow I don't think Hikaru and Kaoru-sama will be pleased…" She furrowed her eyebrows in doubt as if imagining herself saying cruel things to the twins. I gave her a reassuring pat on the shoulder, ignoring the way she cringed at my touch.

"It's working for me, isn't it?" I tugged the chain that adorned my neck. "We're closer than ever. The way I see it, the crueler the better." I grinned, sending her a wink, and she nodded skeptically.

"Well, if it worked for you…"

When I went back to the Host Club room, I found the twins doing another one of their brotherly love routines. I could tell because Kaoru looked to be on the verge of (obviously fake) tears while Hikaru was running his fingers through his hair trying to 'console' him. Rolling my eyes, I pushed through the barrier of girls and 'gently' knocked the girl who had her hands placed dangerously high on Kaoru's thigh off her chair to claim it as my own. Because I'm a bitch like that.

"What took you so long, pet? I was beginning to think you'd run away," Hikaru stated casually, grabbing the handle of the leash again.

"What? Me? Run away? That's absurd," I protested, taking a sip of tea to hide the smirk forming on my lips. Kaoru raised an eyebrow at me.

"I thought you hated green tea," he said and I scoffed.

"What are you talking about? I'm Japanese, of course I like green tea," I replied, resisting the urge to pull a face or spit it back into the cup.

Kaoru gave me a weird look, but soon his attention was drawn away because Shiori (AKA, the freaky doll-looking girl) cleared her way through the twin's harem and stood there, looming over Hikaru and Kaoru with a determined look in her eyes.

I smirked. Oh yeah, she looked like she was really gonna dish it to them. I couldn't wait to see the look on the twins' faces when their number one fan started spurting profanities towards them. Well, maybe not profanities, because this was an Ouran girl we were talking about, but I was still anticipating a few good verbal lashings.

"Shiori-chan?" Hikaru asked in confusion. "Is there something wrong?"

The older twin was about to stand up but was stopped when the red-haired girl drew her hand back and slapped him across the face, leaving Hikaru with nothing but a look of pure bewilderment.

My smirk immediately dipped into an expression of 'Oh shit' and I shot up from my seat. Except Kaoru was faster.

"Hikaru! Shiori-chan, what's gotten-"

Kaoru was interrupted with a strike to the face.

Anyway, that's when I stepped in, grabbed crazy doll-chick by the wrist and dragged her away from the twins' table.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" I hissed at her when we were a fair distance away. She blinked at me innocently.

"Did I do something wrong?" she asked obliviously. I resisted the urge to grab her by the shoulders and shake the living daylights out of her.

"Well, if you classify assaulting two boys for no reason whatsoever as 'something wrong,' then yes, you did do something wrong," I growled. She folded her arms across her chest and shot me an irritated look.

"You're the one who told me 'the crueler the better.'"

"By cruel I meant saying mean things! Not violence! Violence is my thing, and even then I don't go around slapping people in the face. That's assault!"

"How was I supposed to know that? Your instructions were so vague, as far as I'm concerned, this is all your fault!" She pointed an accusing finger in my face.

"Bitch, you better get that finger out of my face before I-"

_SLAP._

I blinked at her for a few moments, eyes moving from her hand which had moved back to her side to her face which had returned to a blank expression.

"Did you just slap me?" I asked slowly, raising a hand to touch my cheek which was still stinging slightly. She shook her head.

"No," she replied, and I narrowed my eyes at her.

"You did! You just slapped me!" I exclaimed. She shook her head again, putting her hands behind her back.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she insisted. I sweat-dropped.

Did this chick think I was stupid? She was actually trying to convince me that she didn't just slap me. No wonder my plan turned to custard - this chick was batshit insane.

"What's going on here?" a voice questioned, and I turned around to see Hikaru and Kaoru standing there with matching red marks on their left cheeks. They didn't seem very happy - which was expected because getting slapped in the face didn't exactly feel too good - but their annoyance seemed to be towards me, not Shiori. I'd like to remind you, readers, that this was NOT my fault. I honestly didn't think she was going to do anything worse than swear at them, and even then I didn't think she'd say anything worse on the profanity scale than 'crap.'

Before I could come up with some sort of explanation, Shiori turned around and bowed apologetically, head turned down in shame.

"A-ano, I'd like to formally apologize for slapping you. Ikeda-san suggested that it would be a good way to get your attention, but I guess I was tricked. I'm sorry for being so foolish." My mouth fell open.

That lying little witch! I did not tell her to slap them! That was out of her own stupidity!

"She's lying, I never said that!" I told them. Hikaru frowned and grabbed my leash.

"We were kind to you all day and this is how you pay us back? Tsk, tsk, pet, when will you ever learn?" he said and Kaoru nodded in agreement.

"I think you can find your own way home today," the younger twin remarked. I frowned.

"You're not serious."

They both grinned.

"Try us."

I kicked the bus-stop sign in frustration. Stupid unreliable public transport. The bus was supposed to be here twenty minutes ago! What was taking the driver so long? I hate to sound snobby but private limos were eight six times better than public buses. Not that it was difficult to beat the bus. Hell, I'd walk back to the house if it wasn't absolutely pissing down with rain.

Even worse, Ouran, the area which habituated the richest and most spoilt brats in the nation didn't have bus shelters. Yep. No bench, no shelter, not even a freaking time table.

Just a slightly bent sign.

So, this left me holding my English folder over my head in a futile and pathetic attempt to stop the rain from frizzing up my hair.

Hikaru and Kaoru were _so _cruel. I was pretty sure they just used that Shiori incident as an excuse to torment me some more. I mean, hello, they weren't the only ones physically violated. She slapped me too and pretty damn hard I might add. Stupid cow, if she hadn't been such an idiot then my plan would've gone smoothly and I'd be curled up in bed playing MarioKart right now.

But no. Thanks to her idiocy and the twins' mean-ness I was stuck at a bus stop in the pouring rain, my English notes getting less legible by the second. Ugh.

"Are you alright there?"

I glanced up, realising that I wasn't alone at the bus stop. It was a dark-haired boy, about the same height as I was and he wearing the uniform of Ouran High school, the public school. He was giving me a look of genuine concern as he peered at me from underneath his umbrella. I turned my eyes back to the street.

"Yeah. I guess so." I shrugged, even though I wasn't alright. I was cold, wet and moody and wanted nothing more than to go back to the mansion, have a hot shower and watch a movie in my pyjamas. But I wasn't telling him that, of course.

He raised an eyebrow and extended the umbrella towards me.

"Want to share? I kinda feel bad being underneath here while you're out there getting soaked." He offered with a crooked smile. Under usual circumstances I would have stepped underneath the umbrella without question. However, after living with the Hitachiin twins for two weeks I'd trained myself not to accept kind gestures without investigating ulterior motives.

"And is there another reason you're offering to share your shelter with a random, bus-stop-sign-kicking girl?" I asked, moving closer to his face and narrowing my eyes suspiciously. He scratched the back of his head sheepishly as he thought of a reply and moved his head away from mine.

"Um, I don't know, because I think you're cute?" He said unsurely, as if he didn't know the right answer. I blinked in surprise, stepping back a little.

"You think I'm cute?"

I felt my lips twitch up into a smile. Despite being around boys all the time I hadn't actually been called cute since I'd moved to Ouran. Hikaru and Kaoru were so critical; they were really good at giving your self-esteem a pummelling. The closest they'd gotten to giving me a compliment was:

'Hey, Matsu, that outfit is a lot less ugly than yesterday's.'

His face began to turn red in embarrassment but he nodded anyway.

"Um, yeah. And you must be really smart too." He began to ramble in an attempt to avert the conversation elsewhere," It must've been hard to get into Ouran Academy. I was thinking of taking the entrance exam but I heard all these rumours about it being really hard so I decided to stay at Ouran high."

I tilted my head to the side in confusion. What was he talking about? Me? Smart? I barely scraped passes in all my subjects. Hell, I was a little bit surprised I hadn't been kicked out of Ouran yet. Oh, wait. He probably thought I was an honour student. Ha. Haha. That's funny.

"I'm not an honour student. Actually, I suck at school but my mum's friend made a deal with the school so I'm like a transfer student." I explained and he nodded in understanding, moving the umbrella a bit more to my side after noticing my shoulder was still getting splashed by the rain.

"That must be fun. Is it true that Ouran has a solid gold fountain?" He asked curiously and I shrugged.

"I don't think it's solid gold but it's definitely solid something. And you're wrong, going to Ouran isn't fun unless you're rich and like hideous poofy yellow dresses." I told him and he raised an eyebrow.

"You don't like it?" He questioned and I frowned at him.

"What is there to like? Rich kids are a whole different species- it's like we don't even speak the same language. It's so hard to make friends, I've only made one actual friend since I arrived and _that _was the honour student. As in a commoner. Like me." I ranted, kicking a nearby pebble down the drain.

"Well, I guess that's private school students for you." He said. If he was beginning to feel annoyed or uncomfortable, he didn't show it. He just kind of stood there, holding the umbrella and listening to my pointless rambling.

"You don't know half of it. I live with the Hitachiin twins. Ever heard of them?" I gave him an expectant look and he grimaced.

"Yeah. My sister's the president of their fan-club at Ouran high." He scrunched up his nose and I gawked at him.

"They have a fan club and Ouran high too?" I said in disbelief and he nodded in affirmation.

"Yup. And they take it pretty seriously too. They even made up this thing called 'twin appreciation week' and went around the school, passing around badges and posters stuff."

"That's intense."

"No, do you know what's intense? There are more pictures of the Hitachiin twins in my house than there are pictures of me. My sister's wall has been plastered with so many posters it may as well be her wallpaper."

"Ugh. How the hell does she sleep at night?"

"I have no idea. She's actually a pretty normal fifteen year old girl. It just seems that whenever the Hitachiin twins are on the agenda she goes…well, crazy."

And that was when another little plan for revenge hatched in my brain. I tucked away this tidbit of information for later use. This guy's sister sounded interesting, I wasn't about to let this opportunity go to waste.

"Can I have your number?" I asked.

And that was when the bus arrived.

**A/N: **A few of you have been asking about the romance aspect of the story (ie. when are we going to see some KaoruxMatsu action?). I know it's kind of frustrating because at the moment because Matsu sees both the twins as practically one person but the romance will come. It's just that a few things need to happen before they can get some one on one time and hopefully that should be in the next chapter. If you didn't notice, I _did _add in like two slightly romantic (?) parts with them but I guess you might have to squint to see them. Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter. Revieewssss are VERY much appreciated and stay tuned for the next chapter :D

-LR


	8. Chapter 8: Shortcake

**A/N: **Welcome back my lovely readers! This update was a lot quicker than last time because I was determined to write the second part of this chapter and get some plot running. Again, thanks for all the reviews, it's nice to see there are quite a few people eager for updates lol.

Happy reading.

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><p>Hikaru and Kaoru had been waiting for me to arrive home.<p>

And no, it wasn't to welcome me back or offer me an afternoon snack like any normal, respectable house-hosts. It was to laugh at my misery – naturally. They'd gone through the trouble of pretending they were in the living room on the pretense of watching television, but I knew they weren't actually watching it because _lawn bowls_ were on. Unless the twins had developed an overnight fascination for watching elderly men roll their balls across AstroTurf then I seriously doubted they were actually paying attention. Okay, that came out unintentionally dirty, but you get the point, right?

Anyway, I walked in the door and the twins automatically peered over the couch with snide smiles present on their faces. However, when they realised I didn't resemble a grumpy cat that was just pulled out of the bath tub their smiles left their faces.

"Why are you dry?" Hikaru asked, not bothering to hide his disappointment as he climbed over the couch to inspect my relatively dry (yet still hideous) uniform. Kaoru shortly followed in suit after switching off the television.

"Well, it's no thanks to you two shitheads, that's for sure," I answered, completely avoiding the question and patting at my damp hair as I made my way to the kitchen. Hopefully the fridge was restocked because _Kami_ was I hungry. Thanks to Shiori-the-stupid-slap-happy-fan-girl the only thing I'd had for lunch were a couple gulps of green tea (ack) and a rice cracker. My stomach was _not_ satisfied with this pathetic offering, thus it had been complaining and groaning the entire bus ride home.

It did not help one bit when Satoru decided to delve into his sweet bean bread roll _right_ in front of me. I mean, sure, he did give me half…okay, maybe three quarters but _still_. A girl's gotta eat.

Oh, and to sum the bus ride up for you; it was pleasant. After our conversation, I concluded that Satoru (AKA Umbrella-boy) was a nice and considerate person – which was a lovely change from the twins' snide remarks. He didn't even snicker when I tripped up the stairs or knocked my forehead on the metal pole when the bus went over a speed bump. All he said was:

"Are you okay?"

Anyway, this was why I was in a reasonably good mood when I arrived home and I wasn't about to let Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum spoil it. They had completely ruined my morning and the entire school day – no way was I letting them spoil my evening. I figured the best plan of action would be to ignore their comments. Of course, this was hard to do when they were following me around the house.

"I don't get it, how are you not soaked?" Kaoru asked, poking my cheek to get my attention. At first, I decided I wasn't going to answer him, but after he began jabbing me in the face repeatedly I gave in.

"It's called an umbrella," I replied irritably, smacking his hand away from my face whilst scanning the contents of the fridge. It took a lot longer than an ordinary fridge because the Hitachiins' main refrigerator was decked out with massive silver stainless steel double doors and had over twenty shelves. It was a hungry girl's heaven with leftover vegetable tempura, gourmet fishy stuff and oh my Kami _was that strawberry short cake_?

"Yeah, but you didn't have an umbrella," Hikaru pointed out.

"I hopped under someone else's umbrella," I explained as I reached for the shortcake, smacking my lips together at the prospects of devouring it whole.

"Whose umbrella?" Hikaru narrowed his eyes suspiciously. I waved a hand at him dismissively.

"Some guy's umbrella; you wouldn't know him. He goes to Ouran High," I said distractedly, busy rifling through the cutlery drawer for an appropriate sized spoon.

With my shortcake set down on the table I lifted my spoon, ready to dive into the cake – until Kaoru decided to snatch it away and put it on the bench. My spoon scraped against the table and I gave the younger twin the dirtiest glare I could muster.

"What the hell!" I demanded, standing up to go fetch my cake. Hikaru stopped me though, pressing down on my shoulders to seat me back in the chair as if he was planning on interrogating me.

"What's this guy's name?" he asked me, leaning in close so his breath fanned my face.

"Why would I tell you?" I crossed my arms over my chest challengingly in a way that I hope said: 'I'm not afraid of you or your identical twin brother.'

"Because if you don't, you won't get to try this cake. And trust me, it's good," Kaoru said confidently, holding my plate of precious shortcake over the waste disposal with a deviant smirk.

I squeaked as the cake began to slide off the plate.

"Okay, okay, I'll tell you!"

Kaoru set the cake safely down on the bench and looked at me expectantly. I stuck my tongue out in reply. Stupid twins, using my love for shortcake against me.

"His name's Yoshida Satoru," I told them irritably, pondering over this before adding, "Why do you even care?"

Hikaru frowned at me in annoyance.

"What do you mean, why do we care? We made you catch the bus as a punishment. You were supposed to come home all moody and ready to wreak vengeance!" he exclaimed.

"He messed with our game, so we're going to mess with him." Kaoru smirked in agreement, leaning against the counter.

Wow. These two were really something else. Okay, admittedly I kinda saw the whole pranking thing as a bit of a game, but not to the extent where there were actual _rules_ laid out. And what the hell was that thing about wanting me to be in a bad mood? Was I ever going to be seen as anything more than a source of entertainment?

"We'll teach him for screwing with our fun," Hikaru said darkly, his eyes clouding over.

I rolled my eyes, shaking my head.

"Please don't do anything to permanently injure him. I'm seeing a movie with him on Friday night and I don't fancy being that one loser alone in the theatre." I sighed, retrieving my plate off the bench and digging into the cake straight away. No way was I letting it get away from me again.

Hikaru's eyes almost fell out of their sockets.

"You're going on a _date_ with him? A total _stranger_?" he asked, putting poisonous emphasis on 'stranger'.

"Well, obviously I don't plan on going alone. I'm thinking of inviting Haruhi along too since Satoru's bringing a friend as well," I told him.

"With Haruhi?! Why do you have to bring her?" Hikaru demanded, his agitation firing up a notch at this piece of information.

"Again, why do you even care?" I asked in annoyance, licking the crumbly bits off my spoon.

"I don't!" Hikaru insisted and I snorted, vaguely gesturing to his obviously pissed off expression.

"That's not what it looks like to me. Why are you making such a big deal over this? It's just a date," I said, wondering _why_ I felt so compelled to explain this to them. It was none of their business what I did in my free time.

"Whatever, do whatever the hell you like," the older twin growled, and then stormed out of the kitchen. I gaped at his retreating figure then turned to Kaoru.

"What the hell was _that_ all about?" I asked him. Only, I ended up saying it to the counter-top because he'd already run after his brother. Sighing, I spooned another lump of shortcake into my mouth.

Just when I thought I was beginning to understand the Hitachiin twins, they decided to throw _this_ in my face. Freaking hell, I was going to have grey hair by the time my Dad got back from his trip.

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><p>Call me a grandma all you like, but after that exhausting day, I ended up going to bed at eight-thirty. Well, to clarify, at first I'd crawled into bed with the intention of staying up until midnight, taking out my frustrations on any poor unsuspecting opponents on Tekken (whilst admiring Devil Jin's impressive physique…) However, these plans were quickly abandoned once I'd laid my head down on the goose feather pillow and settled inside the crisp, soapy-smelling sheets.<p>

Yeah. Sleep first. Violently attack chainsaw-wielding android later.

And that's what I did.

One thing you probably don't know about me, reader is that I, Matsuko Ikeda, sleep like a corpse when I am tired. No amount of bashing of pots and pans, high-pitched whining, and no, not even the _vacuum cleaner _can wake me up when I'm in sleeping-beauty mode. You actually have to grab me by the shoulders and physically shake me to get me to wake up.

So, that's how I ended up waking up that morning: impatiently shaken awake by a dark figure that was obviously male due to the firm grip he had on my shoulders and the short fingernails.

"Matsu, wake up, I need to tell you something," he said. I blinked, rubbing my crusty eyes.

"What the fuck?" I croaked, switching on the lamp. And what do you know, there was one of the twins (I couldn't tell which one, his hair was too disheveled to see the parting) perched on the edge of my bed with flannel pajamas and a face _way_ too fresh for – I squinted at the clock on the wall – two-forty-three in the _morning_.

"Do you have any idea what time it is?" I demanded, eyes still not adjusted to the (what felt like) blazing light emitting from my lamp.

"Do you have any idea how long I've been shaking you for?" he countered, rolling his eyes. "If it weren't for your obnoxiously loud snoring, I would've thought you were dead."

"I don't snore!" I hissed stubbornly, making him quirk an eyebrow at me.

"You want me to record you next time?" he asked. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"You wouldn't."

"Try me."

"Why are you in my room, anyway?" I changed the subject and sat up some more, pulling at the duvet to cover my chest. Yeah, I wasn't exactly keen on letting him see what I looked like without a bra on.

He turned up the brightness of the lamp and scooted closer towards me. The glint of mischief in his eyes dissolved, now replaced with seriousness, and at that moment, for the first time _ever_ since living with the Hitachiin twins, I wondered if I'd ever be able to tell the difference between the two of them. Hell, I wondered if there _were_ any differences between the two of them other than the direction they preferred to part their hair.

It was when that thought crossed my mind that I blurted out another question.

"Which one are you?" I asked.

"I'm Kaoru," he said, as if he were introducing himself to me for the first time. In a way, he _was_, because I'd never talked to the twins separately before, and – oh God, I never realised how rare it was to see the twins apart from each other.

This was ultra-weird. Kinda like talking to a half of one person. I nodded, as if I knew it was Kaoru the moment I saw him, even though I'm pretty sure we both knew that wasn't true.

"I don't want you to ask Haruhi to go on that double-date with those guys on Friday," he told me, looking me dead in the eye to show he was serious. I narrowed my eyes in confusion.

"Why?" I asked, bringing my knees up to my chest when he began to scoot further up the bed. I didn't want my legs squashed by a who-knows-how-much pounds teenage boy.

He opened his mouth to reply, but then he closed it after a moment's hesitation.

"I don't want to tell you, it's not really any of your business," he decided. I shot him a glare.

"You made it my business when you woke me up at two o'clock in the morning!" I hissed, hurling a heart-shaped cushion in the direction of his face. Only it missed and knocked the cat figurine off of my dressing table. My aim was never very good at this hour in the morning. Even though it didn't hit him, Kaoru did not seem very pleased at my response.

"Why do you have to take Haruhi, anyway? Why her? Why can't you take someone else?" he asked.

"I don't know anybody else! The only other female I'm closely acquainted to who isn't a hundred miles away is your mother. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to make friends at Ouran when you're not the daughter of an oil tycoon?"

He sighed impatiently.

"Your personality isn't exactly helping your circumstances."

"Hey, fuck you," I spat, pursing my lips together and folding my arms. "You know, I'm not going to even consider your request if you're not going to tell me why you don't want me to ask Haruhi."

"What if I just don't bother you for a week?" he offered. I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Your brother, too?"

"No, he'll probably still bother you," he answered honestly.

"No deal, then. Just tell me, I don't see why you have to keep this so confidential," I demanded and he rolled his eyes before admitting:

"Hikaru likes Haruhi."

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><p><strong>AN: **Sooooo, what did you think about Kaoru and Matsu's first one on one encounter? It only took me about eight chapters to detach Kaoru from Hikaru's hip but there ya go- the story's first development of romance. Please leave a review, I'd love to know what you thought about this chapter and how much more Kaoru and Matsu action you want. Anyway, thanks for reading and stay tuned for the next update :D


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